#i swear i remember typing winter the first time oh my gosh

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Fire emblem AU

The third and final house is The Red Ravens House, where those from The Badlands Kingdom reside! (Also the route with the best exclusive boss music we get freaking dubstep in our medical fantasy game. Three house’s ost is so good oh my gosh)

The Badlands was the first to break away from the SMP, albeit in a more peaceful manner. Badland’s territory connects to the foreign nation of Errata and the two nations have had many clashes at their border. However, something odd is happening in Badlands. Mysterious red vines have started covering small villages and wiping out crops. It’s being kept secret by the king so that Badlands doesn’t appear weak. The Kingdom only has so much land however and the problem can’t be ignored forever. The Raven is chosen because of its cunning and willingness to do whatever is needed to survive. This years Red Ravens consist of the following

Bad-Bad is the prince of The Badlands and set to be its next king. Bad’s father is a decent king but his main flaw is his refusal to work with Errata due to them being enemies for a very very long time. Bad hopes that when he becomes king he can end the fighting between Badlands and Errata. He knows that their Kingdom needs help because of the new vines problem. Bad is seen by his father and royal court as too much of a softie and they hope he will toughen up at the monastery. Bad is one of the nicest people at the monastery and he is considered a bit of an oddball, such as his dislike of any swearing. Despite this, Bad is not to be underestimated. While he’d rather have a peaceful outcome to problems, he’s still willing to fight to protect his kingdom. Bad has strengths in bows, riding and flying. He has a weakness in axes. Bad has one crest

Skeppy- Skeppy is Bads retainer and best friend. However, it didn’t start out that way. Skeppy was an orphan commoner who was forced to do crime to survive. He would go from village to village and steal from the richest people there. One day, Skeppy was hired to steal a rare book from the royal families castle. While he really didn’t want to, winter was coming and he needed the money to survive. Long story short he gets caught by the king who is about to kick him out. That is, until Bad happens to spot him and asks his father if Skeppy can stick around because he looks hungry and needs a friend. Skeppy works as a servant in the castle for years and he becomes the best friend of Bad. It helps that Skeppy now has a place to stay and three whole meals everyday. Eventually, Bad asks if Skeppy is willing to train to be his retainer and Skeppy says yes. Despite Skeppy messing with Bad a lot, they’re still best friends and Skeppy does feel he owes him a lot. As a result of this, Skeppy is very loyal to Bad and doesn’t like hearing what all the adults are saying about him. He hopes that when Bad becomes king he won’t change too much. Skeppy is the biggest prankster and has a love of making puzzles. Skeppy has strengths in bows and swords. He has a weakness in heavy armor. He has no crest

Sam- Sam is a minor noble whose family is famous for scientific discoveries. It was his grandfather who invented a device that determined what crests people had. Before, people had to be put in dangerous combat for the crest to activate. Sam studies magic so that he can invent new spells to make lives better. He was raised by his grandfather and feels he has big shoes to fill. Sam is considered a dad friend among his classmates and is good friends with Puffy. He’s that guy who won’t directly give you the answers to homework but will help you with it. Collects texts that the church has deemed inappropriate. Sam has strengths in reason(lighting) and riding. He has a weakness in faith. He has one crest

Ant-Ant is a minor noble who lived in a small village close to the border. A couple of months ago, his village was one of the first to be overtaken by the vines. Many of the people of his village mysteriously disappeared after they claimed that the vine were to be worshipped. Ant is at the monastery so that he can hopefully find a cure for the vines. He worries that he has been infected and doesn’t know it yet. Ant is a more distant type and appears to have dislike for Bad. This is due to bitterness at Bad’s father for not wanting to confront the problem and being more focused on fighting Errata. He also thinks Bad is just pretending to be nice at first. Ant does eventually warm up to Bad, but he’s still the most likely to challenge him if he feels he is making a bad decision. Ant has strengths in bows,riding,and faith. He has a weakness in flying. Ant has one crest

Punz- Punz is a part of a mercenary group. His goal is to be the next leader of the group. Leaders are chosen by beating the current leader in a sparring match. Punz is at the Monastery so that he can get the best training possible. Punz is well known for being the one who trains a lot. He’s also known for being willing to do almost anything for some cash. He’s the guy you go to if you want to buy a homework assignment. While some of his classmates fear he would sell them out for the right amount of money, his true friends know that...well, if you’re a friend he won’t sell you out but otherwise ehhh. Basically, Punz was raised by his mercenary family to not trust easily. Once someone proves they are trustworthy, make sure to repay that trust tenfold. That’s the mercenary way. Punz has a strength in swords and heavy armor. Weakness in bows. He has no crest

Purpled- Purpled belongs to a family of merchants. Him and Punz actually knew each other before going to the monastery because their two families work together when traveling to protect each other. Purpled’s family is also unique in another way. Their family lived in the foreign nation of Loxbor and have only recently come to Carmine. This is because Carmine is considered to have more variety in resources. Purpled is smart and very business savvy. He’s at the monastery mostly to make new connections, hopefully with nobles. While he was a bit annoying with the nobles in his class at first, he eventually learned that the best way to get allies is to just treat them like normal people. Purpled does look up to Punz and Punz in turn teaches him some of his sword techniques. Purpled also sometimes get his family’s products in the mail and will advertise it to the students. Purpled is a nice and smart guy even if he can act a bit callously. Purpled has strengths in reason and axes. He has a weakness in faith. He has no crest

If Karl teaches The Red Ravens, the main plot is les s focused on winning the war and more focused on taking care of the the whole egg situation. Probably more lighthearted than the other routes.

There are 21 chapters in this route. In the 18th chapter there’s a decoy egg that is set. What the group thinks is that a certain spell needs to be performed by two people, one of whom has to have whatever Bad’s crest is called. So, that chapters mission is getting Bad and one other Red Raven(besides Karl but other than him whoever you send over there) to the decoy egg and doing the spell. Then, it is revealed that it is a trap! The spell actually causes Bad and the other person become overtaken by the egg.

19th chapter is when the person decided by you is saved by destroying an egg that is near them. That person vaguely remembers where Bad went and so the army goes after him.

20th chapter is rescuing Bad, which basically means you have to defeat him and the egg that is with him (which would be a pain gameplay wise probably). So, Bad is knocked out and when he wakes up he knows where the main egg is located.

The 21st chapter actually starts when the Red Ravens have broken into the main egg and have to fight whatever is inside it and ready to hatch out. Honestly, I think it would be really cool gameplay wise to have the final battle set in the egg. You can do a lot with that visually.

Also in that chapter where TWSITD send javelins of light (nukes) on Fort Mercues, it’s instead this huge seed that comes down on the fort and completely covers it in red vines in like a minute or two.

After seeing this Bad gives everyone permission to say one swear word right then and there.

There’s also a point where Bad helps Errata with the egg and they in turn send soldiers and supplies. So, yay peace!

So yeah that’s all houses done! Now, what’s next I wonder?

Holy hell. Okay. That’s great. That’s honestly great.

This is the arc I would be playing the most if it were a game and that’s solely because of the characters and everything.

Love all the little things in here too!

As for what’s next, well, assuming that it isn’t a rhetorical question, then uh...I don’t know why and it’s highly impossible but now I’m just thinking of trying to find a way where I can get everyone to be happy.

Fuck. I love all of them too much and now I’m attached to them all.

[dayareum]

pho... :] thoughts on korean kevin day?

HELLO TSUER MARIANJOS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE... 🥰🥰🥰

korean kevin day lives in my brain rent free 24/7 😔 I have no reason for it except that I am projecting and I had this in my drafts

kevin day... his bday is feburary 22 and according to google his birth flower would be the rose of sharon? the national flower of korea? 😳😳 lots of thoughts tonight... (thought: kevin day in hanbok ❤️)

I also had a list of obscure korean memes to draw as aftg characters but anyways 😳 kevin day with those big posters with the korean alphabet on the wall and kevin day watching to pinkfong and PORORO to learn korean GOSH... but also kevin day saying korean swear/slang words... also 케빈 (kevin) is such a pretty thing to write... idk if kevin has a korean name or smth but... kevin day writing in neat awkward korean letters and being confused over ㅐ/ㅔ and 돼/되 and writing 육계장 instead of 육개장... (just realized that's incomprehensible if u can't read korean, they're just all basically letters that sound the same that people including me mistake a lot and the last one is a type of soup!!) oh my gosh kevin day with korean food!! kevin day in a black long padding coat and white sneakers (literally anyone I see with this combination... korean 🤧) with a bungeoppang (like.. fish shaped bread... it's 🥰 in winters) in one hand and a paper cup with fish cake soup in the other from a pojangmacha (it's a tented restaurant in the street!)...... KEVIN DAY in new years/chuseok (korean thanksgiving) making food and doing jesa (uhh. apparently that's an ancestral memorial ceremony in english 😭😭) for the first time in his life for kayleigh day..................

is this just me infodumping about korean culture.. probably 🤦‍♀️ kevin day memorizing the list of kings in joseon dynasty because he's a history nerd and kevin day who has a neat trick for himself when he has to draw the korean flag 🥰🥰 (it looks like 🇰🇷 and the lines are always confusing.. a trick I use is!! up-down-up-down so like top left is 3 lines, go down it's 4 lines, go up diagonally to top right it's 5 lines and down right is 6 lines!! ✨the more u know✨) I bet kevin doesn't know like any modern kpop songs... he onlys listens to like 80s stuff and OHH train to chuncheon is SUCH A GOOD KEVIN SONG.. the vibes and the lyrics........ [I guess I was a bit tired/my life was always rushed] and [without any plans at all/I run into it blindly] and [the train is headed for chuncheon/remembering the past/makes me glad I'm alone] and..

I really like korean kevin day but I really. don't have another good reason for it 😭 or good lore... just scattered thoughts but one day I might bring u a nicer looking and more organized infodump... BUT THE THING WITH KOREAN KEVIN...... the moriyamas? it'd be SO much worse especially with the.. language thing... the whole... *gestures at it* IT'D BE SO. SO F*CKED UP. I'm already burning with hatred for them as it is 😭😭

huh that's kinda long.. and v messy anyways. korean kevin day! 🥰

[magpiemorality]

Another request, if it's okay ofc, Canon or AU both are fine, Deceit and Remus both being interested in Patton and trying to gain his affections and being dramatic rivals. Patton is a bit obvious to it all at first but it ends with him cheerfully saying he likes them both so they both can become his boyfriends, they don't have to fight

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 AO3

Warnings: cursing, judgemental characters, a character dismissing polyamory as an option

***

“I just don’t know what to do!” Patton flopped down on his bed, keeping his phone up by his ear and pouting at the ceiling. 

On the other end, his best friend Remy sighed before replying. “Maybe you could just go and do something about the situation instead of always whining to me about your crazy lucky love life?!” he suggested. “Because gurl, you’re lucky! My dry spell has been over a week now and I’m starting to go mad-” 

Patton giggled and tuned out as Remy kept on complaining about his own lack of a dating life, twirling a curl around his finger and chewing on his lip thoughtfully. 

It was a pretty heavenly dilemma to have, really. It was just so gosh darn upsetting that Patton had to solve the whole thing by making a decision, instead of just riding the euphoria forever. 

The dilemma was this: Patton had two potential boyfriends and he was only allowed to choose one. 

On the one hand; Dexter O’Reilly was drop dead gorgeous, and climbing the social ranks fast by essentially just building his own and declaring it lord of them all. He was mysterious and exciting and surprisingly sweet, and he was a total bad boy. Patton’s parents would never approve (the fact their wholesome Mormon beliefs didn’t approve of most of his life choices notwithstanding…) but that just made it all the more exciting. Dex would be the type of guy that turned Patton from Sandy at the beginning of Grease; to Sandy at the end of Grease, and he was sorta tempted by the idea of a change. Being perfect all the time was a bit of a drag after a while. 

On the other hand there was Remus Duke. One of the defensive end’s of the football team, he was big and strong and, well he was a football player. Patton was a cheerleader. It was practically the law. And Remus was always smiling, always living his life loud and proud and defending his ideals no matter what it took. More than once Patton had heard of him getting into a fight because someone had said something rude to one of his friends, which should not have been as hot as Patton had found it, but gosh, loyalty was sexy okay?! Don’t judge him. Remus was not quite as much a bad boy as Dex was, but he filled the criteria nicely enough. 

Patton was completely torn. 

“-babes you’re not even listening to me, you complain about your dynamic duo all the time and you won’t even listen to me bitch about all the boys that don’t want to date me?!” 

“Gosh, sorry Rem. I just- I can’t help myself!” 

There was a moment’s silence before the sound of a cup being sucked nearly dry nearly burst Patton’s eardrum. “Hey, that’s not fair you promised not to do that without warning again!” 

“Babes, deal with it. Now I gotta go get ready for class, but I’ll speak to you soon. And Pat?” 

“Yeah?”

“Sort your head out soon. Rumour on the blog discord has it that Duke isn’t gonna wait for Prom anymore and wants to pop the question by Spring break. If you’re gonna pick him you’ll want to let the other one down gently before that happens, ‘kay?”

“Mm.”

“Okay babes, ciao!” 

“Ciao, Remy,” Patton mumbled, dropping his phone by his head and letting out a loud groan. Easier said than done. Especially when it wasn’t just his head that had high stakes in the matter; his heart was going all in. 

***

“Mr Duke, will you please focus?!” Dammit, had he been zoning out again? Fuck. Remus lifted his hand with an apologetic grin, turning back to the experiment his group had running on the counter in front of them. 

“How does she always know?” Toby muttered, eyeing their Chem 3 professor suspiciously. “I was totally covering for you dude, I swear. I know how you get.” 

Remus shot him a grateful smile, swirling the contents of a test tube until the mixture was evenly dispersed. “I know, it’s all cool. She’s just some kind of teaching cryptid, probably. Never doesn’t know every single thing happening in class…” 

“So what was it today? You need to run it off later?” Toby offered once they’d started the bunsen burner and set the timer, sitting back to watch and wait for the reaction. “Bad or good?”

“Oh, kinda… both? No running necessary, bro, thanks, but maybe, maybe some house rules mariokart after practice. It was Patton again.”

Toby winced in sympathy. “Our itty bitty pretty cheerboy has got you bad, Duke. What is this, year two, month three?” 

“Something like that. Do you think I should go back to the plan to wait for prom season? It’s just… that would be easy but then I’m wasting time and I already missed the winter formal chance and now there’s this other guy-”

“Wait what other guy?” Toby asked, leaning forwards to check the timer quickly. “There’s another guy?”

“Yeah, the fancy one. You know the one, he’s got the birthmark all over his face?”

“Huh, I thought you only liked the pretty ones-”

“Hey. We don’t make those jokes, remember? We’re better than that now. And besides, he’s not another guy for me, he’s another guy for Patton. They spent loads of time together over Winter break, and he’s like, super weirdly popular or something. Like a mob boss. He probably has way more to offer Patton than I do… Ow!” He glared at his friend, rubbing his shoulder. “What was that for?” 

“For shit talking my best friend. Besides dude, this could be your motivation, right? You need something to get you moving, because shit if you aren’t gonna do it on your own…” 

“Harsh, but fair.”

“So think of it like a competition. You’re good at those.”

Remus blinked, tilting his head. The timer went off before he could reply, so they tabled the conversation. He brought it back up again when they were on the field stretching before practice, eyes straying frequently over to the gym wall where he knew the cheerleaders were inside doing their own practice session. 

“So, about that competition idea… What did you have in mind?” He asked, attempting to be casual and failing. 

Toby grinned. “Alright, here’s the plan.”

***

“Here’s the plan,” Dex told himself sternly in the mirror. “You are going to go up to Patton and ask him if he wants to get coffee. You are going to go up to Patton and ask him if he wants to get coffee. Shit, no, he prefers tea…” 

He sighed, walked in a frustrated circle around his room and came back to the mirror, pushing his hair back and starting again. “You are going to go up to Patton and ask him if he wants to get tea. With you! You are going to- oh what is the point?” This whole exercise was useless. It hadn’t worked for the past three weeks- why would it work today? He was going to pass Patton on campus and give him the usual strained smile and mumbled greeting before hurrying on with his day, annoyed and frustrated and disappointed and another day closer to losing Patton to Remus Duke. 

Dex would rather die than let that neanderthal win. 

And based on the information he was gathering on his blog, he was running out of time to ensure that didn’t happen. Today was going to be crucial- if he could break his routine of failure that was… Maybe a new plan would help? He could take Patton’s favourite order with him and offer it to him when he saw him and use that as a conversation starter instead? Now, that sounded more achievable. 

The next morning Dex got up early to detour via the cafe, picking up his own and Patton’s orders and wandering through campus until he caught a flash of blond hair and a musical laugh. It all seemed to be lining up nicely until he caught sight of his rival approaching from the other side of the quad. Fuck no, Remus was not getting there first! 

Dex sped up, noticing Remus notice him and seeing the moment he clocked that this was turning into a race. The footballer’s legs were longer and stronger than his own, but Dex had the headstart, and he made it to Patton just in time to hold out the cup of tea with a hopeful smile and open his mouth to explain his offering, when Remus crashed into him and the two of them went sprawling on the ground. 

The drinks were spilled and Patton shrieked in surprise, trying to help them both up at the same time, and then apparently clocking that it was the two of them. He squeaked and went red, recoiling and running away, leaving the two boys to scowl at each other. 

Dex rubbed his hip where he’d fallen and Remus brushed himself, looking very unapologetic. “So, you’re Remus Duke. I’ve heard all about you…”

“Oh yeah? You scared, O’Reilly?” Remus shot back, rolling his eyes. “I don’t need to know shit about you to know I’m gonna be the successful one out of the two of us. I mean it’s the law right- cheerleader plus footballer equals happy ending?” 

“Back off Duke, you wouldn’t know how to treat him right anyway. He’s not a trophy to tick of your perfect life checklist!”

“No you back off- I saw him first! I liked him since freshman year, dude, this is just unfair of you.” 

Dear lord was Remus actually pouting? Dex looked at him scornfully. “Patton isn’t an object. He makes his own decisions. He will pick the better man.”

“Yeah he will. And I’m gonna show him that that’s me.” Remus said with a proud smirk. Dexter stared at him. “I’ve got a plan,” Remus elaborated cockily, and Dex really wanted to wipe that look off his face, but he had better things to do and a reputation to maintain. And a replacement coffee to buy, if he wanted to get through today’s classes. 

He lifted his chin and pulled his messenger bag higher up his shoulder with a scoff. “Well I look forwards to seeing what a brute like you can produce to woo a delight like Patton. In fact, I welcome the competition. It’ll make me look even better by comparison.”

Remus was back to scowling, and Dex tallied that as a win for himself. “I won’t even interfere, you’re going to fuck it up all by yourself, I’m sure. Just look at you,” he sniffed, looking Remus up and down with judgemental eyes. “You’re a mess, Duke. Bye now.” 

He turned to go, leaving Remus huffing and puffing behind him, speechless with fury. 

Things were off to a good start.

***

End of part 2 (woops this is going to be longer?)

[parkaiur]

Snowy Days - Jihoon

❀ genre: college life + romance + a dash of angst 

❀ word count: 5491

❀ a/n: just read the tags below but if ur too lazy to basically: don’t expect lots of updates and i just wrote this as a form of therapy for me. i guess i missed writing and needed to rant /shrugs/ 

also this title sucks but idk what to do with it either LMAO 

❀ ❀ ❀

It was a quiet, winter evening; the snow was gently falling outside and the laughter of college students filled the dorm hallways. 

I, on the other hand, was curled up in a ball on my bed, reading a book. The soft sounds of my hand turning the pages lulled me in a dreamland of swoon-worthy boys. 

Suddenly, I heard a loud bang. 

I flinched and jumped up on my bed to see what had dropped. 

“Sorry! Just dropped my pan, how’s it going?” I sighed thankfully, realizing it was just my roommate, Naeun. Naeun was a freshman like me; we hadn’t talked much before rooming together. We got along most of the time, but being around people just irked me sometimes.

I pointed at the book, trying to hide the girlish daze in my eyes. 

“Just reading, like usual.” I kept my words short, hoping she would get the hint that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. It wasn’t like I was mad at her or anything, but I need my breaks with all the socialness of college. I don’t think people understand how tiring it is for introverts to have to be “on” all the time; “on” meaning social. 

She nodded. “What book?” 

“It’s called ‘Win Some, Lose Some’ by Shay Savage. It’s a really amazing novel about a boy who was Autism and a girl who ...” I trailed off when I realized she had her back towards me. The sound of her pots and pans flying into her drawer was distracting. “A girl who befriends him basically. How was your day?” I asked politely. 

I braced myself for her long winded answer. Most people just say “good” or “it was pretty alright” but not Naeun, she pops off and talks about things no one really needs to know, and no one really cares. 

“It was okay. I saw one of my friends on campus and I waved to her because it’s so weird, right? Seeing people you know on such a large campus. And then I walked to English and my professor was just such in a good mood today, she’s so nice, I love her.” 

I smiled carefully, hoping she doesn’t realize how much I do not care about who she waves at or how her professor looks. 

“Then, I went to the library and did some of my math homework and I got started on the next chapter. And then I started to do my English homework which I got kind of stumped on. Anyway, all I could think about is this big burrito when I was studying.” She took out two large burritos and plopped them on a blue plate. 

I nodded and told her I was going to go back to my book. She nodded and right as I was about to plug in my earbuds to drown out her voice while I read, she stopped me with her voice.

“Hey, I’m bored, do you think Ahyoung and Somi are busy?” I took out my earbuds once more and shrugged. 

“Probably not.” 

“Hm. Is it cool if I invite them over? I mean, you don’t have to say yes if you just want to be alone, I know how you get like that.” 

I forced an awkward smile. “Um, I actually want to just chill and be alone, but you can always go to their rooms... they live in the same building.” I tried not to let my annoyance show in my voice, but it was rising. 

She furrowed her brows and sighed. “Yeah, but they’re so far...” She whined. 

Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes. 

“I mean, they always come to our dorm, maybe go to them today?” I really didn’t care what she did, I just wanted to be alone. 

I turned on my music and opened my book so I didn’t have to hear her complain. She went back on her phone and I was content reading in peace. 

Five minutes later, I heard loud knocking on the door. 

What? She did not just...

“Oh, hey, Ahyoung! How’s it going?” 

No way, she did not just invite people over after I told her not to. 

I felt my blood boil, but I tried to keep my calm. I was not going to make a scene, especially since Ahyoung was my friend. 

I locked eyes with Naeun, who I visibly glared at. 

“It’s chill, y/n, you don’t have to talk we are just gonna hang a bit and then go watch some TV.” 

I bit my tongue to not snap at her. Her insensitivity was rubbing me the wrong way, but I didn’t want to blow up. We were all adults here, I didn’t want to seem like a child who got irritated when they were forced to socialize with their mom’s friends. 

Soon, I heard another knock. 

“Hey, Sooyoung! Come in, we are picking a show to watch.” 

I tried to calm down and read my book, but when I say I want to be alone, I really mean I want to be alone. 

I felt myself boil over in anger as I could still hear them over my earbuds. Their laughter and constant chatter couldn’t be tuned out. 

“Ok, we are gonna go to the lounge and watch TV. High five!” Naeun held her hand right in front of my face and I hit it just to make her leave. I swear, I’d rather hit her face instead. 

As soon as I heard the door slam shut, I pulled out my earbuds and went to rinse my face. 

How insensitive of her! I explicitly told her not to invite anyone over to the dorm, and there she goes. She can’t walk up one flight of stairs to see our friends?? So fucking rude. 

Living in the dorms as an introverted person was terribly hard. I don’t even know if introverted is the right word for it anymore if I want to go days without talking to people. And it sucks when no one truly understands me and doesn’t take my words seriously. 

I groaned and stared at myself in the mirror.

“Just two more quarters and you’re free for the summer.” 

I sighed and wiped my face on my towel. 

College was hard. 

I had found my group in college, but unfortunately, I had made the same mistakes as I did in high school. First, I stayed connected with some friends from high school who I had planned on cutting off. And most importantly, I put too much time and effort into people who disrespect me and don’t care for me. 

And now I live with someone like that. 

It angered me to feel so out of place, so alone in the dorms even when I had friends. Whenever I wanted to escape, there was no where to go. All my friends were here. 

I clenched my fist. 

All of a sudden, I couldn’t just sit down and read. I glanced over in the corner of the room and saw the camera from my photography class sitting there. 

I looked outside my window and saw the soft snow falling down. 

I quickly pulled on a warm, puffy jacket, jeans, and headed out to take some photos with my trustworthy camera. 

-----

The air was colder than I remembered. I felt my nose crinkle as the wind blew snow into my nose. 

The city was beautiful; it was painted in white sparkles. I snapped a few photos and took a deep breath. 

I loved being outside and having no one notice me; this was one of my favorite things about living in the city and college in general. I snapped pictures of groups of people walking across the street. The blur of the street lights combined with the softness of the snow captivated me. 

“Some nice pics you got there.” 

I jumped at the voice and almost dropped my camera; thankfully, it’s always wrapped around my neck.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you’d get so scared.” 

I looked up and saw a boy around my age staring at me. And dang, was he cute. 

I thanked God for the weather because my cheeks were already red. 

“Uh, um, it’s fine.” I fibbed quickly. I felt awkward because I didn’t know how to act around guys my age, especially ones as cute as him. 

Be friendly, be friendly. He just wants to be friends.

“Um, I’m y/n by the way.” I took out my hand to shake his. He chuckled and reciprocated the action.

“Jihoon, Park Jihoon. You live in this building too?” He pointed at the building next door to me. I shook my head and watched as the snow fell onto my shoulders.

“Oh no, I live in this one.” He nodded. “Are you a freshman?” I asked. 

He laughed heartily. I liked how he didn’t hide his emotions. “Oh no, I’m a sophomore this year but I’m an RA in this building.” 

I made an “O” shape with my mouth. “Ah, a resident adviser. I’m applying to be one next year, kinda nervous but hopefully I’ll get the job.” 

His eyes widened. “Oh really? I rarely meet people who want to baby a bunch of freshmen.” I laughed at his comment. “But hey, it’d be cool if we were in the same dorm next year. You could teach me to take such pretty pictures.” I laughed and flipped through the photos on my camera out of habit.

“Don’t get your hopes up, I haven’t even been accepted for the job yet. Also, I’m taking photography 101 with Professor Lee Miyoung, I’m sure she’s a better teacher than I am.” I teased. 

He shrugged. “Well, I doubt she’s as pretty as you.” 

My heart froze. 

W-what? Did he just flirt with me? Oh god, what do I say now? How do I flirt back? I-

“Sorry, was that weird? I wanted to call you pretty but I didn’t mean to lowkey talk about a professor’s beauty either.” He looked mildly embarrassed when he shook out his hair full of snow. 

I gave him a small smile. “Um, no, not weird, it was actually kind of smooth. I don’t really know how to respond to flirting.” 

Oh my god. I just said that. 

His eyes lit up mischievously as I tried not to blush even harder.

“Oh flirting? Is that what we are doing?” He teased.

“Technically, that’s what you are doing.” He laughed loudly and his voice echoed throughout the streets. I only hoped to have that loud of a voice as an RA. 

“You got me there.” He then looked down at his watch and frowned. 

“What’s wrong?”

He looked up at me with his soft brown puppy eyes. I swear this guy is too cute to be real. “Um, my shift is starting soon.” He then took out his phone. “I know we just met, but you seem pretty cool-”

Before he could finish, I took his phone and typed in my number.

“There, now you can teach me how to be an RA and I can teach you how to take photos.” I said as confidently as I could. 

He seemed a bit surprised at my voice, but nodded.

“Sounds great, see you later.” He waved to be as he walked away, but slipped on a patch of snow. 

“Ah, be careful!” I shouted. He gave me a small smile and walked back into his dorm.

Well, at least this day ended on a high note. 

-----

“Hey, where’d you go last night? We were wondering where you were at.” 

I’m an adult, I don’t have to tell you everywhere I go.

I bit back the words and forced a small smile. “Oh, I just went to take some photos for my photography class. The snow looked really pretty last night.” I left out the minor detail that a cute boy started to talk to me. I wanted to keep the giddiness to myself. 

“Oh cool. I just came back from the gym. I saw a really cute boy in there. He was really fit, dark skinned, dark hair. And he smiled at me and I smiled back. We didn’t get to talk because I was so out of breath, but I hope he’s at the gym again.” She went off without me asking her too. 

I understand that I’m being a bit tough on her, but she irritated me first by inviting people over when I told her not to. People always talk about communication in college, but sometimes people just don’t listen to you. 

“Cool, hope you see him again.” I said nicely. I have to put on a nice face with my roommates, as I don’t want to be in an awkward living situation. 

“Yeah... how was your day today?” 

-----

“And then she just invited you guys over, disregarding what I had just said before! Isn’t that rude?” I voiced to Ahyoung, my best friend. I’d known her before going to college, well, I’ve known her since we were 8. 

She looked a bit hesitant on what to say. 

I went on about the situation. “I’m not saying I hate seeing you guys, but you know how I get when I want to be alone. I...I just want to be alone and it makes me crazy when I see people. Plus, I told Naeun I wanted to chill out and be alone and then she just invites you guys over, without telling me?? I’m not crazy.” I ranted. 

Ahyoung sighed and took a sip of her coffee filled with milk and sugar. 

“I mean, she did say she was inviting us over in the groupchat.” 

I glared at the younger girl. “Excuse me, I was sitting right next to her, she knows I didn’t check my phone. It’s rude to not tell your roommate you’re inviting people over, and it’s even ruder when we just talked about how I didn’t want her to invite people over. It’s not like she forgot within the five minutes.” 

“True. That wasn’t nice of her.” I noticed she hesitated on saying anything bad about her. We were all friends, but I was the one who had problems with friends in the group, as usual. I didn’t like very many people, but I was civil and nice to everyone; that’s what being an adult is all about. 

“Yeah...” I trailed off. I don’t know when it got so weird between us, but it felt like I couldn’t talk to my best friend about things in my life. I didn’t even tell her about the cute guy who flirted with me. Deep inside of me, I knew she didn’t deserve to know these things about me when she didn’t want to hear the bad parts of my life. 

It felt like everyone wants to be around me when I’m laughing and joking, never when I’m serious and want to talk about my feelings. No one wants to listen when I want to rant about real things in life, yet they love when someone rants about some “dumb” thing a girl did in the hallway. 

I didn’t get why they judged people before they knew them. I always tried to talk with people before I made judgements, yet people think it’s weird when I judge people I talk to. That’s the way you’re supposed to judge people... when you get to know them personally. Duh.

As I was talking, I saw her eyes focused on something far away from me. 

I turned around and saw her crush standing there. She stopped listening to me as he waved at her. I saw her eyes bright up when she saw him and I grew annoyed. I was telling her about something that was bothering me, and then she chooses a boy over me. Not cool. 

“Hello? Earth to Ahyoung??” I teased. She shrugged me off. 

“He’s so cute. I know he doesn’t like me, but I can’t help myself.” 

I snorted. “Yeah, he doesn’t like you and actually, he only dates white girls and you my friend, are not white.” I knew I was being harsh, but I hear about him every single second and it angers me when I want to vent about something in my life and she doesn’t think I’m as important as her crush.

She flinched at my harsh words. 

“You just wouldn’t understand, you’ve never had a crush before. You’ve never been in love before.” She said matter of factly. 

Ouch. 

This was all true, but it hurt when she said it like that. I’ve never felt romantic love, wow, thanks for reminding me. Maybe I’m too busy taking care of my dumb friends who don’t care about me. 

Maybe.

-----

“Bye, see you later.” I waved her off as we both went to class.

As soon as I turned around, I saw a familiar face. 

Jihoon. 

I fixed my hair and prayed none of my mascara had smeared on my face. 

Be confident, make friends. 

“Hey, Jihoon.” He turned around with a confused look on his face. I felt a leap in my heart when he smiled at me.

“Oh hey y/n, it’s weird to see you without a camera.” He joked. 

I felt my heart skip a beat when he said my name; I was so used to people forgetting about me. 

“Hah, well it’s weird to see you in the daylight.” I joked. When I saw him left an eyebrow, I knew I said something wrong. 

I felt my face burn up at my own words. 

“Not like that.” I blubbered out. He let out a light laugh. 

“Well, I mean, you’re right.” He took note of my embarrassed state and changed the subject. “So, what class are you headed to?”

“History of the Ancient Greek and Roman worlds, how bout you?” 

“Woah, what an interesting class. I’m heading to choir practice actually.” That made me stop in my tracks.

“Wait, you sing?” 

He chuckled. “Yup, that is what you do in choir.” I felt a bit embarrassed at my statement. “I’m joking, I’m joking, but yes, I do sing. Have been doing so for my whole life.”

“I did choir up until high school, I didn’t feel good enough for college. I still don’t know how to read music and it’s been years.” 

“It’s hard, but you get used to it. You should give it a shot if you really want to though. Or come watch one of our performances.” I smiled at him.

“One day.” I stopped walking and pointed at the building in front of us. “This is me. I’ll see you later?” 

He nodded and smiled. 

“I’ll see you later.”

-----

Two weeks had passed and I hadn’t seen much of Jihoon. We waved to each other in passing, but it was midterms soon, and exams were the only thing on my mind. We sent each other memes daily though and we just got each other’s humor- that was rare. 

I was filling out my history study guide until I heard my roommate, Naeun, walk in.

“Hey, y/n~ Ahyoung, Sooyoung and I saw you talking to a boy yesterday~ Oooooooo what’s his name?” 

She sat right in front of me, not giving me any personal space. 

I tried not to blush but honestly, my face was turning red because I was so annoyed at her.

“His name is Jihoon. He’s an RA in the dorm next to us, we met at an RA informational meeting.” I lied. I didn’t want to tell her I ran out of the dorm because I couldn’t handle her and people.

“He’s cute, nice body too.” I felt a an overwhelming sense of jealously and protectiveness wash over me. I hated it. I didn’t want to be this person. I probably only felt this way because I didn’t like Naeun right now. 

“Yeah, you can have him if you want. I’m not into him.” I lied. 

She raised a brow. “Really? Don’t be upset if he falls for me then.” I knew she was joking when she flipped her hair dramatically, but I wasn’t into it. 

I felt my buried insecurities rise when I stared intensely at her face. Her eyebrows were neatly plucked, which I was always too scared to do. Her skin was tanned and even, not blotchy and red like mine. Her fashion was trendy and most boys liked her because of her socialness, on the contrary, I was awkward and mean to boys, unintentionally. 

I just went back to doing my homework, shaking off the comparison. 

-----

Later that night, I saw a message pop up in my texts which was weird because I usually mute everyone.

‘hey midterms are killing me and i dont understand anything... want ice cream?’ 

I tried not to laugh even though both my roommates were at the library. 

‘uhhh shouldnt u be studying if u dont understand anything?? mayb??’ 

‘LOL thats not how it works young padawan’ I rolled my eyes. He thinks he’s so much older than me. 

‘also I don’t eat ice cream, i don’t eat dairy’

‘... aight imma head out’ 

I snorted and tilted my head back in laughter. 

‘ok, no ice cream... what DO you like?’

You. I like you. 

... Definitely not sending that.

‘UMMM i like hot chocolate?’ 

‘okay, i’ll be at your dorm in 5. what is your room number again?’

‘303′ 

‘aight’ 

I looked down at short shorts and tank top and then at the harsh winds outside. I threw on a pair of cute leggings and a heavy sweater. I put on a black jacket over it and placed a beanie on my head. 

I did my brows and put on a few swipes of mascara. I carefully applied my lightly colored lip balm and sprayed face mist to look dewy and cute. 

Is this a date? Or is this just two friends being adventurous? 

Whatever, I want to look cute at least.

Seconds after I finish, I hear a knock at my door. I took a deep breath.

This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date. Calm down.

I opened the door. 

He was wearing a puffy jacket and dark black jeans that outlined his thigh muscles. Yum.

I also noticed he was wearing a gray beanie... which was identical to mine.

“Cute hat.” I noted. He grinned and tugged on my beanie. 

“Same goes for you. Ready for some hot chocolate?” 

“Yes, where are we going to get said chocolate caliente?” 

Jihoon gave me a weird look. “Chocolate what?” 

I stared at him, stunned. “Chocolate caliente. Caliente means hot in Spanish. Therefore, hot chocolate. You didn’t take Spanish in high school?” 

He shook his head. “Nope, I took Japanese because I’m a weeb.” I snorted. 

“Wow, I should be surprised but I’m not.” He pushed me playfully and I tried not to freak out over the warmth of his skin. 

“You’re telling me you don’t watch any anime?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Of course I watch some anime. But am I full blown weeb... no.” 

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I can change that, don’t worry.”

“You still didn’t tell me where we are going.” My fingers felt crisp from the cold air. It wasn’t snowing tonight, but the ground was still white. 

“Aha, we are going to my favorite cafe called ‘Pink Heart Cafe’. It is decked in pink hearts.” 

“As expected from a Pink Heart Cafe.” I joked. In the near distance, I noticed a sign that had a baby pink heart that wrote ‘Pink Heart Cafe’ in cute lettering. 

I crinkled my nose from the cold air. “What, you don’t like pink?” 

“No, no, I love the color pink actually. It’s just kinda cold out here.” He nodded. 

“Maybe it would be warmed if we held hands... maybe.” 

For the first time, I felt comfortable with someone’s flirtatious comment.

I smirked and hooked my hand with his. I felt my heart beater faster. Much faster. And I loved it. 

I saw him smile widely and hide it with his hair. 

“I’m a lucky guy.” He whispered. 

We walked into the cafe. 

“Hi! Welcome to Pink Heart Cafe, for here or to go?” 

“For here, please.” The woman nodded. 

“Please take a seat. We will come take your order soon.”

We took our seats in the corner, next to the pink fairy lights. I was in love with the aesthetic. 

“Cute place. And fancy it seems, they come take our order at the table.” I sang a bit of Twice’s Fancy. 

“Oh gosh, you love Twice?? Me too!” I shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I mean, I like them, their songs are cute and catchy but I’m not a diehard fan.” 

He frowned. I can change that too. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. “Wow, it seems like there are a lot of things you want to change about me. What do you even like about me?” I teased. 

He smiled harder and I noticed a blush on his face. 

“Uhhh, that’s a good question. I like... I like how you’re honest with your emotions. I like how you’re good at photography. I like that you want to become an RA because of the money and--” I gasped and pushed him on the arm.

“That’s not the only reason! Yes... the pay is good, but I like helping people.” 

Our laughter died down as he gazed at me intensely. 

“You like helping people? Tell me more about that.” 

I paused. No one had asked me that before. 

“Um, no one’s asked me that before. I guess I just like to see people happy. I like appealing to people’s emotions and most times, I’m pretty good at making people like me.” I said honestly. I saw his face light up at my words. “And I also want to be a teacher after I graduate, so being an RA would help improve my social skills and teach me how to interact with those younger than me and work through their problems. I don’t know, people say it’s hard and that it can be tough if kids come to you with suicidal thoughts and feelings of anxiety and depression, but I mean, I just want to do it and give back to the community somehow... I don’t know. ” I mumbled off, feeling like I said too much.

His gaze was so serious, I was scared I bored him to death.

He leaned closer to me and I freaked out. I held my breath, waiting for what was next until he spoke. 

“You’re so awesome.” He finally said. 

That... that was surprising.

“Um, thanks?”

“I’m serious! That’s so amazing why you want to be an RA. Honestly, I took up this job because it pays well and I’m good at talking to people, but sometimes I couldn’t care less about my residents. I like how you’re so kind to people.”

I laughed, “I’m not that nice.” 

“Yeah right, you were nice to me the first time we met. And I could’ve been a creepy dude and I almost made you break your camera.” 

“Well, I was nice to you because you are a cute boy.” He choked on his drink at my blunt words. I grew shy all of a sudden and laughed with him. 

“Jesus, give a boy a warning before you say such words.” He was pink in the face and I felt my heart warm. 

“It’s true, you are attractive. But it is also true that I’m not nice. My roommate is irritating the heck out of me and I have to tell myself every time I talk to her to say nice things and not hurt her feelings ‘cause she’s so damn sensitive.” 

He paused for a moment. I was nervous he would think I was a bad person. Which... technically is what I’m trying to convince him of. 

“Wow, you just got ten times nicer.” Now it was my turn to choke on my drink. 

“What? I just told you I have to force myself to be nice to my roommate even though I just want to snap at her all the time.” 

Jihoon leaned back in his chair with a smug look on his face. “Exactly! Most people would’ve just called her a bitch and moved on! Moved out or from what I’ve seen, some girls do mean shit like throwing another girl’s clothes out of her closet or flirting with her boyfriend. You... you just be nice when someone is mean to you.”

“She’s not mean, just rubbing me the wrong way.” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“See? You are still defending her even though I’m sure she’s putting you through more than other people would take.” 

I shrugged. “I don’t know, most people don’t take me seriously when I talk about it.” 

“Try me.” 

I hesitated at first, but when I saw his open and honest look, I spilled.

“Well, I’m quite an introverted person so I need my alone time. And when I told her, this was actually the night that I met you, um, I told her that I wanted to be alone. And then she invited people over to the room and yes, they left soon, but when I’m in my isolation mood, I just... I just don’t even want to look at people.” 

He stared at me with a curious look so I rambled on. “I know, it’s dumb-”

He placed a gentle hand on top of mine.

“No, that’s not dumb at all. She should’ve respected your words. I would be so mad. Give me more!” He pounded his fist on the table for dramatic effect. 

I felt my heart lighten when he wanted to hear more of my words. I was so used to people ignoring me and brushing over my concerns.

“Uh, well, just... well not just Naeun, my roommate, but some of my friends in the same dorm as me. They are just really judgmental and the negativity just pains me. I don’t like judging others before getting to know them, so hearing them talk bad about random people they don’t know just pains me. And I’m no saint, yes I judge people, but I make sure I talk to them first and get to know them before I make judgments.”

Jihoon smiled. “You keep getting better the more I get to know you. I do the same thing, my friends think I’m crazy when I say ‘hey that dude looks kinda mean and no one likes him, i’ll be friends with him’!” 

My eyes widened. “Oh my god, that’s how I met most of my friends!” 

We laughed as we bad mouthed our friends and the people who have hurt us. 

“Why do you stick with such crappy friends? No offense, you deserve so much better.” 

I shrugged. “I mean, everyone says that to me and truly, I don’t even know. I just feel so connected to them now and they have their good moments-”

“Good moments aren’t enough if they consistently hurt you.”

“I know, I know! I just... maybe I’m not that good of a person then if I stay with them. Like people say, you are who your friends are.” 

“That’s bull, you’re a good person, I know that. And your friends don’t even care to listen to you rant, I can tell I’m the first person you told all this stuff too because you have flames in your eyes. You deserve friends you can trust and are able to rant to. I promise.” 

I bit my lip, thinking of what to say. 

“Thank you, I guess I just think I am helping them by staying with them. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” 

“Just know that you have me now, and if you ever need to rant or vent or whatever, I’m here for you. You have me now.” 

I felt a wave of emotion wash over me. No one’s ever said that to me before and meant it. I know he meant it, it was written all over his face. 

I nodded slowly, accepting the moment we were having. 

We sat in a moment of silence until the waiter came for the check.

I dug through my pockets to get out the ten dollar bill I stuffed in there. 

“Hah funny,” Jihoon chided when he whipped out his card before I could do anything. I gasped. 

“Ah, Jihoon, I brought money!” 

He tsked and stood when the waiter gave him his card back. “Yeah right, I’d never let a girl pay on the first date, that’s like... illegal.” I rolled my eyes, until I realized what he had just admit.

“Date?” I questioned carefully. 

He looked away from my gaze, like he didn’t mean to say the word. 

“Yes... date. Do you have a problem with that?” 

I grinned.

“Nope.”

[ficsnroses]

Let It Go III - Keanu Reeves x Reader

This may be read as a stand alone/oneshot. 

However, I recommend you read the first two parts to get the full feel. Find Part 1 &  Part 2 here! I had so much fun writing this story, and I hope you all enjoy reading this conclusion just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please give me feedback if you have a minute! This was the first story I did that wasn’t a oneshot, and I would love to know what I can do to make them better in the future. Thank you! :) *flashbacks are indicated in in text*. 

Word count : 4087

Warnings : Lots of angst, lots of fluff, swearing, symptoms of a mild panic attack.

Requested : No

Summary/Prompt : What do you do when the love of your life is slipping away?

      On the eve of December, Y/N laid solitary in her bed, puffed, tired eyes spewing tears down her fragile cheeks. She reminisced on her life in the past year, and the decisions that lead to her current state.    

      With the beginning of Winter just a few figures away, the days had become increasingly cold and lonely, leaving Y/N in a melancholier state than usual. They had become shorter and darker as well. Sometimes, as she felt the first gust of frosty morning air fill her lungs after the crestfallen night, she swore she took it as relief. The customary feeling of suffocation she constantly felt proved to be only a distraction.

      It had been a little over a year since that miserable night she had endured with Keanu. The night that continued to haunt her till today. She thought time would fix the gaping hole she felt in her heart, however, the situation had proved otherwise. She thought time would only make her feel better, perhaps proving to her that the decision she made for them that night was right. Contrary to her belief however, it seemed like time only fogged her mind with the thought of Keanu more and more as it passed. Every memory, ever part of him seemed to be painted over her mind, like a mural.

_____

      On the other side of the city, Keanu found himself tossing and turning the corners of the bed ceaselessly. He opted to leave the refuge of his bedroom for a midnight smoke. He found himself having a lot of those lately, anything to escape the constant stiffness he felt ever since Y/N left. Running a hand through his long, scruffy hair, he struggled to keep his groggy eyes open. He struggled to find solace in the dark, lonely hours of the night ever since the weight of Y/N’s body had stopped resting beside him in their bed. It had been well over a year, yet the thought of her still managed to leave a physical toll on his heart. A midnight smoke helped relief that tension built up inside of him, only temporarily though. He had stopped thinking it was possible to forget her. He too, had stopped believing time would heal the wounds that disheartening night left on them both.

      Dragging his feet along the tile floors, Keanu breathed a heavy sigh as he passed the kitchen. It was dark in the house, yet he could still see all the different canisters, the block of kitchen knives and various other cooking utensils and gadgets neatly tucked away on the marble counters. Y/N loved to cook. Better yet, she loved to cook for Keanu. She knew how busy he always was, and how before her, he barely got the chance to have a home cooked meal made with love offered to him. She would constantly be searching up recipes, or watching the food network channel to find new delicacies to try out. She often made Keanu feel at home for a lot of other reasons as well. Ever since they had met, Y/N had helped Keanu feel a true sense of belonging. She was his closest form of family, and the last year without her had left him feeling more numb than ever. He found himself reminiscing more than usual lately, and that was just what he did in that moment the moonlit night channeled over the kitchen, leaving his mind drifting to the thought of Y/N once again.

           ~~~~

            “Babe! I told you, it’s 2 leveled scoops of flour, not heaping.” Y/N’s sweet, honey dripped voice spoke softly to Keanu, giggling in the process.

           “What’s the difference..?” Keanu questioned back, brows furrowing together. Y/N had decided she wanted to bake a cake that day, and Keanu offered to help. He loved helping her in the kitchen, it was quality time they got to spend together doing a fun activity. Not to mention, he loved the way she would scrunch up her face when she was reading the recipe and got a little confused, he found it to be the cutest sight he had ever seen.

           “Heaping means a little more than the amount we actually need, silly. You’ll put the entire quantities out of wack and mess up the recipe.” Y/N smiled at him, walking over to place a kiss on his cheek, as she rests her hands on his chest. She loved when he helped her in the kitchen, it reminded her that he wanted to ease her workload and spend time with her. He was always the biggest, softest man. It didn’t matter if the activity was feminine, or girly per say, he would do anything with Y/N as long as it meant he got her all to himself.

           “Well, you should have made that more clear before. Why is this such a complicated process anyway?” he said, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. She always smelled like fresh lavender, her rose moisturizer lingering on her skin. It was his favourite scent in the world.

           “I think I did, honey.” Y/N smirked up at him, wiping away flour from Keanu’s cheek with her thumb. He had somehow managed to get flour all over his face, and in his hair as well. Gosh, could he be anymore adorable?

           “You look really pretty today, babe. Not to mention, this floral apron makes you look absolutely adorable.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss into her messy hair, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back.

           Y/N smiled up at him, getting lost in his mahogany eyes, before she pressed a kiss to his broad chest.

~~~~

      Memories like those killed Keanu a little more each time. He often found himself trying his best to not think of them, he knew his already fragile heart could barely take it anymore. He had stopped being able to shed tears anymore. He had blocked himself off from the rest of the world, almost putting up barriers. He knew Y/N was the only person that could make him feel true to himself again, and he knew she wouldn’t be coming back. Pulling a cigarette out of the pack with his teeth, Keanu continued his trek to the dimly lit backyard once again, to indulge in the sweet relief of the tobacco smoke that would soon fill his lungs.

_____

           Y/N hadn’t been able to get a single moment of shut eye tonight either. She hadn’t been getting much relaxing done lately at all actually. The previous year had flown by, and it felt like just yesterday she had walked out of her home with Keanu and never turned back. She had prayed everyday that Keanu would find someone new to hold his heart, someone for him to confide in and share his life with. She still wanted him to be happy and experience all the joys of life. They hadn’t kept in touch, or been speaking since the break up, Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to stay away from him if she heard his voice. His beautiful, almost melodious voice. It was her favourite sound in existence. Even after the year she spent away from him, she could sometimes hear him in her head, like a poem she could recite a million times. Maybe that’s what they say about true love, it never really erases away. A part of it always stays, taking shelter in the depths of everything you do.

           Y/N often had trouble sleeping even when she was still with Keanu. However, long, painful, sleepless nights were even harder to endure when you’re alone. She had come to learn that the hard way. Sitting up on her bed, pulling her knees to her chest, and staring at the empty space vacant beside her on the bed, she frowned. She remembered the way Keanu helped her on nights just like these. He would hold her close all night, whispering, talking to her, sharing stories until she would finally fall asleep. She would do the same for him in a heartbeat. They did those types of things for each other, that’s the kind of love they shared. They always tried to put the other before themselves.

~~~~

           “Why are you slouching, babe?” Keanu questioned as he walked into their bedroom. They were just about to get ready for bed. Y/N was sat on the edge of their bed, tilting her neck sideways while running her hand up and down the sides. The skin on her face was glowing from the moisturizer she had just applied after washing her face. He thought she looked the most beautiful at night, before bed. When she was finally relaxed, in her natural state of calm, and where only he could see and have her all to himself.

           “I had a pretty long day at work today, kinda got a stiff neck and shoulders.” Y/N replied, a slight wince apparent in her voice, as she closed her eyes.

           “Aw baby, why didn’t you call me? Here, lemme help.” Keanu started towards the bed. He propped himself just behind her on the bed, and moved her hair out of the way. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade, he began massaging her shoulders. His fingers worked at the knots, being careful to not hurt her more.

           “Oh my gosh baby, that feels amazing.” Y/N closed her eyes in ecstasy.

           Keanu chuckled, pressing another kiss to the back of her head. He kept massaging her, trying his best to relieve the tension. “How was your day today, other than that? Anything cool happen?” Keanu asked. He always asked about her day, because he genuinely cared and wanted to know. Y/N loved that so much about him. He never did things just out of routine, he did them because he actually wanted to. He invested himself in her, because he actually wanted to.

           “It was fine. Same old same old. Although I did pet a super cute puppy on my lunch break today.” Y/N replied, turning around to face him. “Can you cuddle me right now though? Jenny kept talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend today at work. I missed you a lot.”

           “Did you only miss me because Jenny kept showing off her boyfriend?” Keanu chuckled, opening his arms to allow Y/N in.

           “Of course not.” Y/N smiled up at him. “I always miss you, you big dork.” Y/N laughed, nuzzling her face into his chest, breathing in his scent. Keanu wrapped his large arms tight against her, leaning back on the headboard. He placed a kiss in her hair, before running his hands up and down her back soothingly. “I always miss you too, love.” He whispered.

~~~~

           Y/N hadn’t realized how heavy her tears had started falling after that memory surfaced her mind. Memories of Keanu would often come to her this way, creeping up and ultimately shadowing a gloom of heartache over her. Physical heart ache. The pain had got so much recently, Y/N almost didn’t know what to do with herself, how to escape the constant overshadow of her life with Keanu. Burying her face in her hands, Y/N cried her heart out in that moment. Perhaps, the hardest she’d cried in the last year.

           “What the fuck am I doing?” Y/N questioned herself, sighing. Her tear stained eyes were starting to burn. “I love him so much. I love him so fucking much. What the fuck am I fucking doing?” she cried to herself, almost gasping for air. Her hands started to shake, and she felt like pulling all her luscious locks out of her head. She had managed to repress these feelings, but tonight, it was as if all the forces were against her. She didn’t think she could do it any longer.

           With trembling fingers, she grabbed a hold of her phone, immediately scrolling to Keanu’s contact in her phone. She hadn’t deleted his number, or their text conversation. She hadn’t opened it in the last year they’d spent apart, she didn’t think she would be able to read it. It would have hurt too much. She also couldn’t bring herself to delete it, she didn’t want to delete any part of him from anything she had. As much as she had told herself she needed to, for his own good, she never truly wanted to let go of any part of him. No matter how much she lied to herself that she had to. Her eyes glossed over their last conversation, dating back to November of the previous year.

           “On my way home now, babe. See you in 20.” – Keanu

           “Ugh, I had the WORST day. Hurry home so we can watch the next episode of Black Mirror :)” – Y/N

           “How about I pick up some take out on my way home?” - Keanu

           “Please! Feel free to bring a few bars of kit kats as well….” – Y/N

           “Got it. See you soon darling.” - Keanu

           “See ya.  Love you.” – Y/N

           “Love you more, honey.” – Keanu

      Staring at their convo made her heart ache even more. She hovered her finger over the “call” button, unable to hold back any longer. She dialed, but quickly shut it off after the first ring. She needed to see him. A phone call wouldn’t suffice. She didn’t care if it was past midnight, she needed to see him now. Grabbing a sweatshirt off the hamper beside her bed, she tugged it over her head swiftly as she paced out of her bedroom. 

_____

      On her drive over to the house she used to share with Keanu, her phone rang twice with missed calls from Keanu. He had obviously started to worry about why she gave him a missed call in the middle of the night, after so long. He sent her a text as well.

           “Hey Y/N, everything okay?” – Keanu

           She only drove faster as her eyes hovered over the screen.

      As she parked her car in the familiar drive way, she got out and paced herself towards the front door. She felt a bit silly, but she knew she needed to do this right then and there. It had dawned upon her, that she had been keeping them apart from each other for all this time hoping it would be the best for them. But she realized it was wrong. She was miserable without him, he was miserable without her. He had been trying to tell her that for months now, but she wouldn’t listen. She was too stubborn. They needed each other, no matter how hard their relationship got at times. But maybe that was the beauty of it, maybe that’s what kept their bond so strong. She couldn’t be without him, and he couldn’t be without her. It was just the way it was.

      She felt her entire body get tense as she walked up the pavement. Was she doing the right thing? She didn’t know anymore. She thought she did the right thing when she left that day, but time had obviously proved her wrong. She felt as if she couldn’t trust her judgment anymore regardless. Over anything else, she cursed herself for making Keanu go through all this pain. The image of him crying, begging her to stay, his red, tear stained eyes pleading flashed in her mind. She felt a tear roll down her cheek just at the thought of all the hurt she caused him. She would possibly curse herself every single day if things didn’t work out today. If he had moved on, and didn’t feel the same anymore.

      Taking a deep breath, she rang the door bell, hugging herself as her mind raced, the arctic cold December air engulfing her figure, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Before she could contemplate any further, a tired Keanu opened the door, taken by surprise at the sight of Y/N at the door. His Y/N.

      “Y/N, oh my gosh, you’re here, is everything okay?” he questioned, taken back. He moved to the side. “Come in, please.”

      “Hey.” Y/N sighed. She could smell a mixture of cigarette smoke, with a hint of wood, maybe a tinge of sage radiating off him. It felt so familiar, yet she felt slightly out of place, as if she had suddenly intruded. She quickly glanced around, the house was exactly how she left it. The pictures of them were still hanging on the walls.

      Keanu shut the door, and stared at Y/N with worried eyes. “Are you okay, Y/N?” he was about to touch her arm, but caught himself. He didn’t want to invade her personal space. He didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

      “Yeah. I guess. I uh, I don’t know, Ke. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” She replied, looking down at her feet, hesitant to say more.

      “Hey hey, that’s alright. You don’t need to tell me anything right away. You wanna sit down? Here, I’ll grab you a cup of mint tea, your favourite.” Keanu said, compassionately. He was visibly worried about what brought her to him so unexpectedly. She felt her heart twist in her chest. He still cared for her just as much as he did for the 7 long years they spent, in love with each other. They still were in love with each other.

      “No, its okay.” She grabbed at his arm, stopping him. She retracted as she realized that may have been slightly inappropriate, considering the circumstances.

Keanu gestured to the couch, inviting her to sit with him.

           They sat in silence for a few moments, Y/N not sure how to start speaking. Keanu understood, he wanted to give her all the space and time she needed. Suddenly, Y/N chuckled a little, her sad eyes forming crinkles on the edges.

           “Gosh…I feel like such an idiot. Such a stupid idiot.” She shook her head, looking down.

           “Hey…don’t say that. What’s on your mind, love?” Keanu questioned, being patient and understanding. His hand hovered over hers, when she didn’t move her hand away, Keanu took it as an okay to hold her hand.

           It felt good to hold her hand in his once again. It had been so long, but it felt so natural. So right.

           “Ke I…I think..” she trailed off, searching for the right words, staring out the window. “I think I made the wrong choice. I think I was trying do what was right for the both of us. I really wanted you to be happy. I really did. But…I realized, I don’t think I..” she stopped speaking as her voice cracked. Keanu grabbed both her hands now. He almost couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. It felt too good to be true.

           “Keanu, I don’t know if I’m over stepping. I don’t know if I’ve fucked this up beyond repair. I just know, this past year hasn’t felt right. I don’t even know if I’m making sense.” She finally looked up into his eyes. He started to form a gloss over his pupils.

           Keanu chuckled, looking down at their hands holding each other. He hadn’t felt that happy in over a year, since the last time they were happy. Together.

           “I wish we hadn’t lost that year…” Keanu said lowly, almost above a whisper.

           “I wish we hadn’t either. I’m so sorry.” She replied, connecting their eyes once again. They both stared at each other for a moment, taking in each others each and every detail, each bump, each crevice. They both felt their hearts swell with happiness. They were finally home.

           Keanu ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip, pulling her closer. He stared at her lips. “May I?” he asked permission. He wanted to be completely sure she was okay with this.

           Y/N nodded her head, smiling, tears pooling her eyes. She moved forward, as he wrapped his arms around her tight. He couldn’t believe she was there, in his arms. He didn’t think he would ever get the chance to be so close to her once again. Finally, their lips connected for the first time in what felt like forever. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, tears streaming down her face.

           “I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry.” She started.

           “Hey, no. Don’t you dare Y/N. We’re gonna put all this behind us, okay? I don’t wanna waste another second being away from you. You have no idea how lost I felt without you, baby.” He spoke, as he connected his forehead against hers. Y/N moved her hand to rest on his cheek as she closed her eyes.

           “I felt so lost without you too, Ke. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever needed. I don’t think I can ever stop loving you.” She replied.

           “I won’t ever stop loving you either Y/N. You’re everything to me, my whole world. I never thought I could imagine my life without you, and this past year only proved that.” Keanu began to press soft kisses all over her face. One on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, on her jaw. He couldn’t help himself.

           Y/N smiled, running her hands through his hair. She nodded, agreeing with his every word. She felt like pouring her heart out to him, she wanted him to know just how much she loved him, and always would. No force strong enough could break what they had.

           Keanu brought her hand up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of her hand. Tears were streaming down his face now as well. “Y/N, baby..” he started, as he shifted to kneel down in front of her. “I don’t want us to have to go through anything like this ever again. I felt so…trapped without you.” He grasped her hands tighter in his now. He started her right in the eyes, so she knew how sincere he was being.

           “Y/N, you are my everything. I promise, I’ll try to better myself every single day for you. I promise I’ll be the best version of myself, because you make me wanna be that way. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you happy, to love you, cherish you and treat you as the gem you are. I don’t want to see a future without you in it, I don’t even wanna think of building a home without you. I want to grow old with you, and I want to start my family with you. I owe you my everything, Y/N. Gosh, I love you so much.” He took her hand, and placed it on his chest, just above his heart.

           “Every part of me belongs to you, Y/N. And it always will. I don’t want to waste another minute away from you.” He said, never breaking eye contact. Y/N nodded her head, smiling at him adoringly.

           “Baby,” Keanu looked down quickly, gathering the strength to continue his sentence. “I know, this isn’t what you must have dreamed of, but I don’t think I can wait any longer. We owe this to ourselves. I know this isn’t traditional…” Keanu took a big breath, and exhaled. He locked eyes with her once again. “I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my entire life. You are my biggest achievement, what I’m most proud of.”

           He softly brushed his fingers over the back of her hand, and gripped it tighter now.

          “Y/N, will you do me the absolute honor of marrying me?” he asked, hopefully. “I’m not perfect in any way, but I promise I won’t ever let another tear stream down your face attributed by me.” Keanu leaned up to kiss a tear away from her cheek, soft as a feather. The moonlight channeling over the room only made his features look dreamier. “Unless, it’s a tear of joy.”

           Y/N’s eyes widened, filling with even more tears.

           “I don’t have a ring right now baby, but I promise I will put the biggest, most beautiful diamond ring on your finger. If you’ll have me, of course.”

            Y/N smiled bigger than she ever had before. She couldn’t believe it, it was as if all the pieces fell perfectly into place right in that moment.

           “Yes. Yes a million times.” She nodded frantically.

           Keanu smiled huge as well, closing his eyes letting a tear stream down his cheek. He moved her ring finger to his lips and pressed a soft, delicate kiss to where the ring would rest.

           Y/N pulled him in closer by the neck, and connected her lips to his. That kiss they shared may have been the most love filled kiss they ever shared, filled with all the hopefulness, all the passion they held for the future. All the gratefulness they felt to be brought back together once again. Always and forever.

           “I love you. With everything I have. I will keep saying it to you each and every day of my entire life.” Keanu mumbled, resting his head in the crook of her neck.

           “And I will say it right back, each and every day, for the rest of my life. I promise, nothing can keep me away from you ever again.” She replied, holding him close, refusing, to let him go.

fin.

[painandpleasure86]

I can’t live with you (but I can’t live without you) - JohnicaWeek 2020

Author’s note: This idea born in my mind since Rachel announced this special week. My real life inspo were my own parents, married since 1991 (I born in 1992). Here I portray this couple as I imagine, based in real life experience having a 67 yrs old dad and in things that I read about this couple. This will be the most realistic posible representation of them that I could write. Don’t hate me if isn’t all cuteness here, life it’s good but also bad things :/ Also sorry if it’s too cheesy! I don’t like make suffer to my characters a lot lol.

Art by @imflashqueen (instagram). She drew the second piece inspired in my story! She was my beta indeed :3 Thank you for give me some feedback! Ah, and the first one was an old collab that we did in last November!

Plus, i’m doing this just for mere entertainment ;) I just love participate in this kind of events to meet new people, practicing my skills and have fun!

Summary: The anniversary date it’s here! How will they react about this?

Pairing: Current John and Ronnie :)

Warnings: Angst, some humor, some swearing, some fluff too. Mention of death.

Word count: 2139 words, perhaps my longest fic. If not, the second one.

Prompt used: Anniversary Day

First part

January 11th. Just like another weekend, another morning. He left very early his bed, trying to not wake up her. He wants some quientness to drink his tea. He wants to forget for a moment everything. Ever that next Saturday will be 18th. Just like in 1975. A cold Saturday in that catholic church, where Freddie made a particular entrance. Remembering that made him smile, but then was so upset, because Fred were ruining the strict ceremony. 

“I’ll always love you bud. Cheers for you” he said rising his almost empty cup of tea watching the sky through the windom and finishing his tea. 

His eyes were shining. His smile, wide. Until…

“Morning, no?” she said near to him.

He jumpscared a bit.

“God Ron! You know that I have heart problems…” he exaggerated putting his left hand in his chest.

She laughed.

“Exaggerated as always…” she added.

“Morning, yeah!?” he said finally, letting the empty cup of tea in the nearest table.

She started to prepare her breakfast. 

“Who you were talking?”

Lighting a cigarette, he said “I… just remembered something Ron.” He aspired the smoke deeply. Now the cigarette are between his index and his middle finger of his right hand. 

“Something happy”. Let go to the smoke through his nose.

Her eyes focused in him and smiling widely.

“I just remembered when Freddie entered to the church with that two girls in our wedding.” He aspired the smoke again. “Hahahaha… he couldn’t did it in another way!”

Her face turned so quickly in an deceptioned expression.

“oh… that, haha.” she said meanwhile she was preparing her tea.

Letting go the smoke but now from his mouth, he smiled mischievously. He did it again.

---------------------------------------------------

In the afternoon of that Saturday, the couple received a video call of their youngest offspring.

“Hiiiiii dad!! Hiiii mom!!!” he said with his habitual happiness, smiling widely.

Both parents greeted to their son.

The young continued talking.

“How you feel knowing that next Sat will be your anniversary?”

Ronnie smiled widely. “FINE!!”

But he stared at the camera and rolled his eyes, sighing. “Another year” he said kinda melancholic.

His son and his wife watched at him.

“Huh? I was honest.” But really he wasn’t real honest…

Trying to change the mood, Cameron added with a smile “Well, the fans are more excited for that than you, and you’re the one that’s married with that lady” winking an eye to his mom.

Being visible upset, the old man said: “That fans, ha! Try to be married at least 5 years and have 3 children in the meantime and after they can say if they’re happy with that life! I have enough of that fans speaking about me like the cute one, the good dad! I wasn’t one all the time for fucking god's sake!”. He raised of his chair and slammed the door of the room.

“Another time with that rant about the fans…” she said sighing and watching at her child.

“Well, let’s speak about you then mom. You have plans to the anniversary?” he said trying to make smile to the 69 years old woman.

She said “yeah. I reserved a table in Nobu for that day” and smiled shyly.

“MOOOOOOM, that restaurant it’s so famous. Every famous people will can see you with Dad there” almost shout the young man.

“It’s my intention, son.” and she smiled kinda mischievously.

-------------------------------

Second part

Another 18th came finally. Another year. Another cold winter day. Another time where he remembered why he did that.

He opened his eyes that morning earlier than usual. He watched at his side. She was snoring softly. 

Finally he decided take his morning tea. Putting his robe and his winter flip-flops, go to the kitchen. He’s trying to not make any noise. More than ever, this morning needs that Ronnie don’t wake up at the same time than him. More than ever wants some silence and time with himself.

In the kitchen, he puts to boil some water to his tea. Meanwhile, he smokes a cigarette watching at outside through the window, still dark.

“45 damn years today. For good or bad... “ he sigh deeply meanwhile he was thinking. “Sometimes I ask myself why I did that. Sometimes I wanted to get away from this life, but for some reason i’m still here. Perhaps i’m tired of trying? I don’t know.” He aspired the smoke and let it go in a deep exhalation. “The only certainty it’s that I decided 45 years ago that beautiful slim prego lady, now an old woman, be my wife. Her…” and his thoughts were interrupted for the sound of the boiling water. “For fucking god’s sake…” he mumbled, while he turned off the fire. He prepared the tea and go to his “office” to check the internet. “Let’s see what the people say about me today… Wait. It’s early… Don’t care. I’ll be with this all day long if it’s necessary. This will be more fun than always.”

He sat at his desk with his computer, with his tea in one side. Meanwhile the PC was initializing, he was with a lot of expectative.

He sips his tea and opened the navigator. Typed the right search in the search bar. “Gosh, a lot of thing already. That people really loves me being with her”, he whispered. Clicks in the first result. And he started to laugh. “Happy 45th anniversary blahblahblah, his marriage its the proof that the love always wins” he said reading the text on that post in a social network. “Little person, it’s just the proof that I prefer be with her for a reason. Well... Six reasons. Hahahaha” he “responded”. 

Another post. That one, a drawing. “Oh okay, I look cute with her, goooootcha” he said  with a pinch of sarcasm. 

A fic. In this he stopped to read it entirely. He almost ended his tea meanwhile. And his laugh was harder. “These little girls haves a lot of imagination. Gosh, why I’m almost always the good boy in this things? Hahahahaha”

And another, and another, and another… He passed a lot of his morning there, having fun or merely entertain himself with the posts of the fandom. More than always.

Ronnie wake up. And her husband isn’t there with her. “John… at least today…” she though resigned meanwhile she puts her robe and his flip-flops.

When she was about to down the stairs, she listened a loud laugh. “He’s in the studio”.

She knocked the door. 

And he sighed. “why Ronnie?” he though. But he said “come in!”, still laughing.

“Morning Ronnie!” he said as any morning. But that one wasn't like any morning. Was the morning.

She stared at him, after close the door behind her. 

“Just that?”

He rolled his eyes, sighing.

“Happy anniversary Ronnie!” and he smiled quite exaggerated. “Come here”.

She was with mixed thoughts and kinda hysterical, but she approached him. She after a few steps was at his side. He hugged her, still in that comfy chair, with funny face. She couldn’t resist to hug him too, caressing his almost bald head. “Sometimes I hate your behavior John” though Ronnie. “But anyways i think that I still like to be with you, haha”, continued in her mind, quite smiling.

He, moving his face to leave that embrace, said “Well honey, I told it. I was cute no? hahaha. Stay with me and have fun with me reading that things that under 30-years-old girls write and draw about us”.

She stepped away from him.

“John, that people are just being kind with you. A lot of people recognize you now. A whole new generation. And they’re educated greeting us for the anniversary”, she said watching at him.

He laughed. Turning his chair in her direction, he continued talking. 

“Ron, that people thinks that marriage its easy, plus having 6 SIX kids to raise! Isn’t nice, it’s hard! And super stressful!”

Her face showed her nuisance.

“Ha, really you say that? You always recording or touring or in an endless holidays. I raised OUR kids ALONE a lot of time!”

He sighed so deeply. He started to need another cigarette. Now his arms are crossed.

“Really this again? Honey, stop. We fixed that already. Now i’m more at home with you and I helped a lot raising to our youngest kids”

Without thinking in the repercussion of her words, she said “Yeah, just because Freddie died before the birth of our youngest ones” and she half turned to her left, arms crossed.

He was without words. Was like a dagger in his heart. He didn’t knew how to react. A lot of mixed feelings. His hands in his face, he reclined his head.

“Veronica, get out.”

She, watching the results of her impulse, tried to fix that situation… in vain.

“But John, it wasn’t m-”

“GET. OUT.” His words were like a sharp.

She left the room, almost crying. “Well I’ll change my clothes meanwhile… and ill make my breakfast” she though in the meanwhile.

--------------------

That old wound was opened. he remembered that words about getting older together writing songs. he remembered how Freddie cheered him up to write songs, how he said once “shhhh John it’s creating”. He remembered noticed that scars. And knowing that his friend would die sooner than everyone expected. “He had a lot to give… We lost a lot of moments together for that damn disease. He was my real fuel to composing, and when he gone, my interest faded away. I just wanted to survive…” he started to think. He raise of his chair and took an old whiskey that he had over there, serve a glass of it and drank it of one sip. He lighted that necessary cigarette, now watching at the window, immersed in memories, in things that happened… He cried.

In audible voice, he said

“Fuck you Ronnie. Why you said that? Why you opened that wound again?” He sighed deeply, putting the cigarette in his mouth and aspiring the smoke. “I can’t live with you, but I can’t live without you, sadly.” Exhaled the smoke for his mouth. “Why I couldn’t leave you? I’m a masochistic? I love a lot to my offspring? In the very deep inside, I still love you? I don’t know really…” Aspired the smoke of the cigarette again, the last one. The cigarette its too short now. Throwing the cigarette to the floor, he stepped on it, turning it off. Exhaling the smoke, he continued. “You are my life, despite all the events. I give you my life. My love. My “freedom”. I married with you just having 23 years old. I REALLY loved you. Now?” He sighs deeply. “I don’t know. I just know that I don’t hate you”.

He didn’t knew that those words were listened for her, she opened silently the door minutes ago to apologize her  for her words and she stared there, listening.

“John…” she said with tears in her eyes.

He turned his face enough to show her that he noticed her presence, smiling. She entered to the room running. She hugged him. “Sorry John. I- I was impulsive”.

Now watching at the window again, he said “nothing to sorry. It’s okay” and he placed his left hand over her hand that was hugging him from the back. He take that hand and kissed it. He turned to her and hugged her tightly.

“You should knocked that door first, he said, leaving the embrace.

“well, I-” started to say Ronnie, kinda scared.

“hahahaha! Relax! Now come with me and read that things that the people say about us” he said going to sit to his chair again.

“No John.” she said, shaking his head.

“Uh Ron, you’re booooooring! hahahah”

“That aren’t plans for an anniversary” she said, getting closer to him.

Watching at her eyes, he said “and go for a dinner today? We don’t usually go to dinner and you want TODAY? Oh, and I just hope that you didn’t asked to the Father of the parish  to office a Mass for our anniversary! I’ll not go to the church today, and nevermore!” 

She stared in silence, incapable to react. Her plans are discovered.

He watched at her, smiling mischievously. “Ha, Mrs you’re so predictable…” he thought.

She, trying to cover her real intentions, responded “Eeeeeh, no. I didn’t do that! You know me John, hehe… I’ll just cook a special meal.”

“No Ron. I’ll do that, and I promise, will not be cheese on toast” he replied smiling lightning another cigarette.

He had a surprise. But one that just he knew… And eventually Ronnie. Because something like that deserves an adequate celebration. And will be at Deacon style.

---------------------------------------------------

If you liked this fic, please reblog and leave a comment! (or if you’re shy, a reply, some emojis as response or an ask (could be in anon!)).

-Lily.

[supersoldiersruined-me]

Girls Like You

A/N: This is the oneshot that has been sitting in my Cloud for about a year now. It was one of the first texts I had written for a challenge and never got to post it. I’ve edited it a bit, and I hope this can help wait for my next works. Warnings: swearing?, non-described smut, so I guess 16+ is fine Word count: 4k Prompt: Girls Like You - Maroon 5 Summary: An odd mix of alcohol and turn of events brings you into the life of no other than your favourite actor Chris Evans. He soon realises you may be more than just a page in his book.

Main Masterlist

As you lay on your back, upper body resting on your elbows, you try your best to remember all of last night's details. Your friend Sophie had the splendid idea to take you out in the city for your last day in town. What was supposed to be a casual and slow night of fancy drinks and good eating ended with both of you groping the same guy on a dance floor and the alcohol inhabiting all your senses. Then and there, all of your problems seemed to fade away, and you thanked her for dragging your ass out of the crappy hotel room.

Your hands slowly slide from under your heavy torso and you let your head fall back onto the pillow, which seemed much softer than the few nights before. Rolling over to your right to reach for your phone on the nightstand is a perilous task, only to have your hand come in contact with more fabric. You run the white silk cover between your fingers; your brows frowning. You use all of your concentration to crawl a little more before you realise that the bed is in fact larger than it should. You jolt up, springing yourself back to sit straight against the now non-existing headboard. Looking around the room, you quickly understand that this was a stranger's house. And even worse, a stranger's bedroom.

Cold shivers go up your spine. You then look to your left to where white sheer curtains dance along the ocean breeze. The tall French doors definitely lead to a sea-front balcony. Whomever this house belongs to certainly has a lot of money. Which makes you wonder even more about your current situation. When and where could you have come into contact with someone like this? To your memory, the small pubs and clubs you attended during your stay, and even last night, were not the type to attract such high profile people.

The buzzing of your phone then startles you, and you pick up immediately when you see the picture of your friend pop on the screen.

"Seriously I've been calling you for an hour now!" she says in a hurry.

"Well good morning to you too," you try to answer as calmly as you can. ‘’Figures you also have no idea where I am."

"No, silly." Something seems to nudge her phone out of her hand, cutting her sentence short.

"Sophie?" you whisper. "Seriously don't play with me!"

"Hey, no, sorry. Eric's an ass," she sounds nonchalant. "Get your butt here we have a plane to catch tonight!"

At her last words you gasp as you recall about your flight. You pray that everything you carried on yourself made its way safely with you. You finally manage to get up off the sultry California king and have a look around the room. As your entire body appears from under the duvet, you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of your fully-clothed body. At least you didn’t do anything you’d regret while being piss drunk.

The bedroom is the only room on the second floor, aside from an ensuite bathroom. Your way out isn't so hard to find much to your relief. You make your way down the glass stairs and into the really open, really large living room. White marble paves the ground and even whiter tiles surround a very modern fireplace. Why even have a fake fireplace, you can’t comprehend. You barely even use the real ones back home during the winter.

Everything is so quiet. The roaring of the waves echoes through the never ending glass walls. The owner must certainly be claustrophobic to have so little actual walls. Gathering your last belongings that waited on the kitchen counter, you swiftly make you way out of the house through the front door, where you were greeted by a long driveway surrounded by lush fruit trees.

Halfway to your destination out of the gates of this mansion you hear the growling of an engine. An old model car you imagine. Not sure whether to turn around or keep your way, you steady your pace and focus on your goal - keeping your phone in hand just in case. You think of running, but figure you look guilty enough already, and of course, the car would be faster than two poorly fed and rested legs who aren't even sure of where they are going. It only takes a few seconds before a blue muscle car cruises by your side, and your walking comes to a halt. You swallow hard before turning your head to face the driver on your right, the window coming down painfully slow.

"You always sneak out on people who offer you help?" The Boston accent is thick. His bottom lip  is stuck under his teeth, a sly grin spreads on his face.

The fact that you can identify the person sitting behind the wheel doesn't seem to comfort you in the slightest. Not only did you end up sleeping in a really wealthy person's house, unaware of how you managed to get there in the first place, but this person is also one of your idols. A man you only saw in dreams; and the wildest at that.

You stare at his blue eyes, still tired and so lost. All you can do is stand there and freeze. You have a look at your hand to make sure this wasn't yet another dream, until one of his own grips at your forearm and asks again:

"I know this seems rushed, but a simple goodbye would be appreciated," he chuckles. ''You did spend the night over after all.''

"I'm, uh." - looking at where his hand links with your body is your instinctive response.

''Oh...I assume you remember nothing,'' he goes on. "Girls like you sure do know how to have a good time!" he adds.

"I'm sorry, girls like me?" you ask, trying to understand what was happening. Your heart skipping a beat when you remember all the dirty dancing.

"I didn't mean this in a bad way.” His expression agrees with his words. "I simply think a girl who can out-drink me knows how it's done."

That hand. The damned hand keeps all your control away – you swear you feel his thumb run softly on your skin.

"Well, I'm Chris Evans, sweetheart," he starts, "let's start with that information." He pushes the door towards you and gets out of the car.

"Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N," you say softly. "And I know. This is um..." He breathes a small laugh.

"Unexpected?" His right eyebrow jerks up at your affirmation.

"You must have so many questions, Y/N."

"I have a flight to catch, and my friend..." you pause when you remember. "Shit, my friend is waiting and..." Pulling at your hair with your free hand, you feel anxiety creeping in.

He puts his hand gently onto your shoulder and smiles in understanding. He grabs your belongings from your hands and set them into a small bag he had. Nodding his head towards the front of the car, he walks you over to the passenger seat, opens the door  like a gentleman and waits for you to sit comfortably before shutting it. You watch as his tall, strong figure walks back to his seat in a few hurried steps. The shifter is set to Drive and the second the car rolls onto the street, your mind comes back to your body.

"Why was I at your place for the night?" you ask boldly.

"We met at the pub down the street. You and some friends were having some beers, and I walked in only to find out you had beaten my record." His voice is amused, his lips curl up into a sweet smile. "You caught my eye, so to speak," his laugh is much deeper this time.

"Not sure if my drinking habits are such a great trait," you confess, "but when you said girls like me?"

For the second time you manage to look straight at him.

''I know that I can be a bit...much, sometimes.''

He opens his mouth to respond, but you cut him off.

"I mean, clearly you have a better selection of girls ready to be with you."

Your brows furrow in search of understanding, and so do his. Why would such a man, such a rich and famous man, want to deal with a small-town secretary who out drunk his ass at a bar he frequently visits?

"I'm starting to take this more personal than you are, angel," he follows with a laugh. "I'll have you know not all celebrities go for the blond-model-angelic-girl-next-door type." His blue eyes meet yours for a second.

"Plus," he continues, "your hotel was at the other end of town, you needed a place to crash. We had talked for a couple hours, and your friends had already left. You didn’t seem so opposed to the idea yesterday."

You let out a chuckle at his telling of the story, happy to not have scared him off right away. After a few drinks, or on a really lonely night, you tend to be easier to catch, and that sometimes doesn’t attract the right kind of men.

"Well, mister savior," you mock, ‘’thank you for, you know…" Your cheeks turn red at the observation you are about to make. "You haven't taken advantage of me." Looking out the window you gather a bit of confidence. ''I tend to lead guys on, but I'm usually a lot more conscious whenever I hit on them.''

"Oh, gosh no.” His hand waves in the air between you two. "Sweetheart, I don't do that. Although...you did come on pretty strong, not that I complain."

You swear you heard him whisper the last part to himself. Your whole body now an inferno of emotions, your hands get clammy and you hope he hasn't noticed.

‘’Girls who are interested in me usually have a broom up their ass,’’ he asserts. You puff out a disbelieving laugh.

Your eyes dart back to your lap, where your fingers fidget with the tie on the bag. The rest of the ride is pretty quiet. Both of you seem astonished by the latest revelation, unsure whether to push it further, taken that you would be leaving in less than three hours. Or at least you think. The usual traffic almost has you going through a panic attack. You open the window for some air as you prepare your papers so they are easy to hand out. You go over your stuff in your bag in order to keep you sane, and Chris seems to get anxious himself, a slight feeling of guilt creeping in. He looks over to you, then whispers a sorry with a corner smile. You close your eyes and assure him that you shouldn't have gotten shit-faced the night before anyway.

The car finally pulls up to a secluded entrance by the side of the airport. Waving a small plastic card to the man in the stand, Chris gets you guys through in no time and drives you to the secret, fast-access door. He grabs your suitcase and belongings and you run towards the security check. There’s nobody left in the standing lane and you hope that you are not too late. Skipping a few cords and waving your tickets at the lady behind the counter, you manage to get to her quickly. As she explains that the doors were just closing, a worried Chris catches up with you to the stand.

''No, no!'' you exclaim. ''Seriously there has to be a way I can get on that plane!''

Putting his hand on your back, Chris leans in and offers the lady some money so she could find a way to get you through.

''I'm afraid it's all out of my hands, sweetheart,'' she says. ''The plane is already moving and due to the bad weather, it cannot be delayed.''

She shared the same regretful expression that Chris gave back in the car.

You feel the hand on your back slowly move up to your nape as you let out a disappointed grunt, its warmth and strength softly settling there. You turn around to face Chris who invites you back to his place.

''I'll get you on a bus in the morning,'' is all he says. A warm feeling spreads through your body at his words, how lucky could you be, ironically, to get another night with no other than Mr. Handsome himself.

Dragging your luggage down the hall of the airport, you can't help but stare at his back, how his muscles dance in his dark blue t-shirt. A classic black cap is covering his face, although paps don't seem to have the time to bother him today. It screams frat-boy, along with his jeans and sneaks, and somehow you find this look more appealing than the full-on tuxedo. Your eyes linger down to his plump ass, where they stay long enough to miss his own stare in your direction over his shoulder. His hand extends towards you and you hesitantly reached for it with yours, earning a sly grin.

''Oh babe, I wanted that bag, but I like the way you think.''

You can't hide the red that flow over your cheeks this time as you smile to the ground. Things like these usually went so smoothly with you. You never got tingly around guys. You can't understand how your feet manage to carry you to the car, but the second your brain starts to function again you are greeted by yet another sinful smile. You make your way back to his place in a swift ride, wondering how the odds didn't play that out earlier. It’s getting late but you don't seem so tired even after today's events. Chris opens the door for you and takes off your jean jacket carefully. He teases his fingertips along the back of your arms, sending shivers to places you didn't know could actually get goosebumps. The man is getting you bit by bit. It isn't in your nature to resist, but this time feels different, considering that you both hadn't met for that particular reason.

''21 questions.'' Chris looks at you with a defying stare, his teeth digging into his bottom lip.  ''Let's get even, because apparently you don't remember much of last night.'' He kindly offers a glass of spiked juice along with his statement.

''Wow,'' you breathe out, ''I never thought I'd be playing the interview game with Mr. Evans.''

''Fun part is, no restrictions.” He pours a glass for himself.

''Mmm, shouldn't have said that, sir,'' you challenge, getting more comfortable with his game. The kid doesn't know what he is getting into.

''Well, there's a reason girls like you run around with guys like me.'' To that you both let out a deep chuckle. ''You've got an extra layer that I can usually rip apart,'' he adds, pointing at you with the glass in his hand, ''but I feel like I want to watch it shed on its own.''

He comes to sit next to you on the couch. His soft cologne filling your spirit, his strong thighs merely a foot away. You shoot him a devilish look and start asking away. The night goes on slowly, you vary between basic questions about his childhood, about the famous stories with his brother Scott. You try to get him to explain why he decided to go for such a modern house, with no character, particularly for someone so close to family values, who grew up in suburban Massachusetts. He simply answers that this was his only option, for security and privacy.

The more questions are asked, the closer you guys seem to get, and not just emotionally. The couch slowly shrinks between the two of you. The chilled bottle of vodka that awaited in the fridge is now open on the coffee table, putting you both into more daring states. Hands start to wander and heavy eyes creep on pink, plump lips. The tension grows significantly fast considering the teasing you both intend to do.

''Alright. 19.” You set your glass on the coffee table. ''What is it that Mr. Evans is looking for?'' The colour in your eyes deepen.

He stays quiet, unsure whether his answer is going to startle you, but you charge first.

''Because I'm aware of why guys usually take me to their place.” In a single movement you straddle his thighs. ''I get drunk, I get my fix, and then I go home. Simple. I'm not much of a talker. But you haven't taken a single piece of my clothes off and somehow that makes me want to rip them on my own.''

You see his hands clench and you grin, satisfied of the effect this small threat has on his composure.

''Oh sweetheart,'' he begins, ‘’if we both intend to have it our way then we'll never actually end up touching the other,'' he warns. And he has a point. There’s only so much you both can take. ''And besides''- his hand quickly makes its way to your thigh - ''what if you're all I wanted and more?''

With a soft groan his left hand gives your ass a squeeze causing you to lean forward, your small hands now resting on his shoulders.

''20,'' you almost moaned the word. ''What about your fans? Ready to disappoint them?''

His laugh is so deep it makes your whole body vibrate.

''Most girls say a lot but never commit to it. You got drive. And fuck you're hot.''

He brings his hand to four face, holding your jaw in his palm. His thumb starts to caress your lips, his own part at the sight.

''If I want to have whomever I please at my house for the night, so what? Can you keep a secret, darling? I sure as hell can.'' Your breathing speeds up and your throat gets dry at this mention.

''I'm the one asking questions,'' you warn, your face inches from his.

A few seconds pass before you have your lips crash with his. His second hand reaches the back of your head and pulls you in. Yours begin to run down his torso, feeling every ripple of muscle along the way. The filming of the new Avengers movie had him ripped as hell. You tug at the bottom of the shirt and he happily obliges, exposing his broad shoulders, the veins on his arms and that sinful tattoo. He unfortunately had to shave for the role, but you can see a faint happy trail still remaining. You don't realise you’re holding your breath until he pulls your hair back, knocking the air out of you in a soft moan. His mouth attacks your neck while his free hand runs up under your skirt.

''Did you plan the whole missing-your-flight thing, sweetheart?'' he says between kisses. ''Because you sure do look eager to this.''

Your thoughts fly to the pool that slowly forms between your thighs, so ready for whatever he can offer.

''Sooo many questions!'' You trail your words into a whine. He chuckles.

''Up.'' His hands push at the fold of your hips. You greedily move, sad to lose his touch on you. ''Now jump.''

He brings your hands to his shoulders and gives his stomach a little pat. He holds you like you’re some kind of tiny pillow, and walks you over to the patio, to your surprise.

He lets you sit onto the pool-side bar where empty beer cans sit; the cold feel of the midnight air easing your urges. He backs away just a little and looks at you. The moonlight reflects into his blue eyes, which have gotten as dark as the navy sky.

''21.'' You let out a little sigh. ''What happens if I want more of this?'' You wave at the space between you two, your eyes almost closing in pain. You can't believe you are actually asking this to Chris Evans.

''What happens if I do, too?'' Running the back of his finger on your thigh, he moves a little closer. ''What if I said I wanted this to be our little thing? That I'd have you fly over to me when I craved this?'' He tilts your chin up to better look in your eyes. ''Would you be willing to?''

''I can't possibly have you pay for-''

''I'm asking you,'' he cuts you off. ''There's a reason you ended up in that bar last night.''

“And I thought I came on too boldly,'' you tease.

You pull him into a passionate kiss, locking your legs behind his back, your heels slightly poking his ass. You nod a little yes before continuing your trail of kisses down his jaw and neck. You lose yourselves into each other, giving up on your sudden lack of morals. Next thing you know you’re skinny dipping, gliding your needy bodies onto the other in the warmth of his pool. You thank god for the distant neighbours and indulge in the outdoor adventure. Chris is a generous lover and knows exactly how to take you. His strong body can handle yours without any difficulties, and you return soft moans into his ears as praise. You reach your high slightly before his, every part of your body shaking in contentment.

The rest of the night is magical. The cold breeze caresses your heated skin. You both lay there, in each others' arms, staring at the stars and rambling about life stories. His hand runs over your shoulder absentmindedly as your head rests on his chest. What feels like a few minutes pass by, and gradually the sun starts to kiss your skin. A grunt escaped both of you at the thought of what was to come. You hang on to him even tighter, his lips kiss the top of your head that’s nuzzled into his neck.

The scenes of the previous morning almost repeat themselves. You gather your stuff on the counter, drink a glass of water and try your best to look happy to go home. Bed-hair Chris follows not long after, stretching his body mid-yawn. He cocks his head to the side and looks at you with a smile.

''I'm pretty sure you hadn't planned to get through your weekend this way,'' you say with a giggle.

''Indeed I hadn't.'' His voice is hoarse. ''But I'm gonna need much more than twenty-four hours baby.''

''Yeah, wouldn't want me to believe that goody-two-shoes over here sleeps with every fan he comes across and then ghosts them.'' You laugh at your own words, raising a brow.

Chris runs over to you, embracing you into a fit of tickles and laughs. His tall body frames you into a tiny cage as he holds your hands to your back. Standing on your tippy toes you straighten up to peck his lips once more, earning a smile from him.

''Don't go there again, sweetheart,'' he warns.

''Oh, you wish Evans,'' you retort jokingly, punching his shoulder.

The wait for the bus is pretty short, considering the time at which you guys got up. You place your suitcase under the seat and put on your headphones. Leaning your head against the glass you look over at a fidgety Chris, hands in his hoodie, the hood and same black cap acting as a shield. You blow warm air onto the window and proceed to draw a dick in the fog. And then you witness it. The famous left boob grab. Chris bends back in laughter although his other hand is pinching his eyes at your childish joke. He looks back at you with a big smile, waving his head like a disappointed mother. You blow him a kiss now, and he does just the same. The bus slowly backs out of the parking, and you lean back into the seat, hoping to catch some well deserved sleep.

''Yeah, you need a girl like her,’’ a familiar voice echoed behind him.

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[thelowlysatsuma]

Ramble in whatever form you choose. I won’t be able to be active all the time so if you want to be able to do it whenever you want I’d say text posts but I’ll also try to occasionally ask you about them so there’s some variety

!!! okay! well i think i’ll choose a couple from the list that i haven’t made many posts about before (aka no ts or go) and ramble on here!

oof under the cut bc idk how long this will get

steven universe

oh hon don’t even get me STARTED on su like that shit? that shit is so good? okay first of all i love the cast so much? gosh they’re just all so sweet and cool and sometimes they collab w/ thomas sanders and i love rebecca sugar and im gonna cry they’re so sweet im so soft

okay SECONDLY the show itself oof

okay okay im just? god im so soft?? like the music is so good, i can (and do) watch it w/ my parents, GOD do i wanna cosplay pearl’s new outfit (and rainbow 2.0, if i can pull it off), im in love with the concept and all the fusions and the story and the worldbuilding and god, this made me realize my utter love and adoration of COLOURS like they’re so PRETTY im in LOVE oh my gOD and just

god it has such a good message and such a good plot and such good characters i wanna be steven’s friend i wanna be all of their friends oh man i just can’t wait until my baby cousins are old enough for me to show this to them because i’m going to enjoy that experience so much

ducktales

oh jfc where the fuck do i even start with ducktales okay david tennant as scrooge mcduck makes my fucking life literally he’sthe best goddamn charaacter in the show – well, best besides the triplets (my BOYS), webby (!!! my KID), f e n t o n (god i love that nerd), mark beaks (what an asshole), mrs beakley (i wanna be her when i grow up), launchpad (!!! he!!), and so many others??? this is like serious every character in the show erasure but hot damn duck tales says gay rights and it does so in style (oh yeah also i love lena della donald oh webby’s new friend whose name i forget uhhh herules oh the inventor guy fenton’s boss that dipshit love him uhhh gandra dee who’s voiced by jameela jamil if im not mistaken??????) and yeah it’s a hilarious show but it’s also just a really good one for me to watch whenever i start to like. feel empty inside?? but then like i’ll put on ducktales and i’ll feel better

gravity falls

this show. this show RUINED ME. i started watching it like four years late (aka last year lmao) but GOD, im so in love with it. def another one i wanna show my cousins.

like?? just??? the ciphers and mysteries appeal so much to me and my love of mystery and crime novels, the characters are all amazing, alex hirsch himself is just such a g?? and like. it’s so good. it hurts me so much but then it’s all okay in the end and it’s just. it’s so good.

yeah i sobbed my eyes out when i watched that series finale.

camp camp, which somehow i forgot on my other list

god, is this show hilarious. like, fuck is it funny. it’s so good. it’s so fucking good. i was a little shocked when i saw the first episode but i’m so into it now, and i’m so attatched to all the characters bc they’re just dumbasses trying their best (or worst, in a few cases) and i love them for it. that’s peak fool energy right there and it speaks to me

orphan black

okay okay okay veering now into a much darker type of television, orphan black is??? phenominal???

okay so my best friend @fuck-me-gently-with-a-slurpee got me into it when i was like 14 or 15 i think and i honestly cannot thank her enough because this show is incredible. the plot’s super engaging, i literally cannot say anything about it without giving away spoilers, and the main character has quite possibly the best actor i’ve ever seen playing her

like. you think thomas sanders is good? he ain’t got SHIT on tatianna maslany

mythbusters

you guys. you guys. mythbusters was my childhood. like seriously, i watched that show religiously.

it’s what first got me into science, and it’s what kept me interested in explosions. it’s light and funny and ridiculous and scientifically accurate in the dumbest ways possible. i swear to god the main cast nearly dies once an episode

these guys are my idols. like, i seriously cannot overstate how much i love the mythbusters. adam and jamie, tori, kari, and grant.

when i was a kid, i wanted to be a mythbuster when i grew up, and god damnit, i still do. they mean that much to me

bill nye

fun fact! i actually had no fuckin clue who bill nye was until seventh grade, when i had to watch an episode of his show for homework because i missed a day of class. it was the episode on static electricity, and i remember sitting at my dining room table in the dim winter afternoon light, squinting at my computer, and thinking “what the FUCK am i WATCHING?”

needless to say, i’ve seen more since then, but that initial what the fuckery is still present and i love it.

not only is bill nye the science guy a flippin fantstic show, but bill nye himself? the coolest guy alive. god, i love him. what a g.

various comedians including but not limited to john mulaney,john oliver, and hasan minhaj

okay, as a gay, i am legally required to love john mulaney, but seriously that guy is so. fuckin. funny that i can’t help myself. his timing is priceless, the way he moves onstage is hysterical, just. god i love his stuff.

literally his comedic timing and style is half the reason people find me funny. i just phrase my sentences the way he would because, you know, i’m good at stealing things, and people laugh, and i go “hey. that actually worked”. and then i keep doing it

next, john oliver. okay, so while i don’t watch his show religiously, i do watch it when my parents do every now and again, and fuck is his stuff funny. like. just. shit.

finally, hasan minhaj’s patriot act is just. one of my favourite current events comedy shows out there. it’s in a similar vein to john oliver’s stuff, just more international, and shit, is he good at what he does. i lvoe it.

hoodwinked the movie (i am dead serious)

okay, while i haven’t seen it in over four years, this is still my favourite movie of all time. it also has one of my favourite villain songs of all times, and some of the best character exchanges just. ever. especially with wolf and twitchy

...god, i love twitchy. also the goat. i’m probably gonna be the goat when i grow up, let’s be honest

one day at a time

i just.

there’s so much to say about odaat. like. it’s so funny. it makes me nearly cry every episode (and makes my mother actually cry every episode). the characters, god, the characters

like. alex is such a cute dumb kid (who’s smarter than he looks), penelope is so salty constantly and i love her but she’s genuinely so cool and such a good mom and i cry??? elena is so amazing like god she’s such a fuckin nerd but she’s also so salty (takes after her mom) and is literally the best????

and then there’s abuelita, whom i adore. like, god, rita moreno is SO cool and SUCH a great actress and has SUCH an amazing sense of comedic timing and GOD, i LOVE HER

can’t forget about syd and doc berkowitz, which like. okay first off the good doc. just. god i love the doc. he’s so sweet and such a genuinely good dude and he’s a bit of a coward at heart but that’s okay because he genuinely cares and does his best and god he’s just such an amazing character im !!!!! and then syd is such a dork and i love them and elena and god, it made me so happy to see not only an actual enby character on a big sitcom, but also just?? like??? it’s not forced but it’s still there??? like there’s one episode where one of the plots is just syd and elena trying to figure out what elena should call them, since neither of them are comfy using “girlfriend” for syd since they’re not a girl, and they finally agree on “significant other” and schneider imMEDIATELY says “dont you mean, SYDnificant other?” and then they use that for the REST OF THE SHOW IT”S SO CUTE OKAY

and finally, schneider. he might be my favourite character in the entire show (which is a damn hard list to pick from!!!), but he’s just. he’s so sweet, he and penelope have one of the absolute best male/female friendships i’ve ever seen (which! never! turns! romantic! ever!!!), he’s actually got surprising depths but he’s also like such a nice goofball that when they get revealed, it hurts, and he’s just this canadian dumbass (heyyyyy repreSENT) with the worst goddamn canadian accent sometimes and he’s a hipster and The Dumb Friend and the weird uncle all rolled into one and GOD, i love him so much

the good place and brooklyn 99

okay, i love these two both so, so much, but i’m lumping them together because a) they’re both mike schur shows with a similar sense of humour, that say gay rights, and with characters who’d definitely love each other if they met and b) my hand is getting tired from all this typing but i still have so much  love to go around!!!!

okay so so SO! they’re both so good. they’re so fucking funny and amazing and i was immediately hooked on both of their pilots. their characters are all so genuine and flawed and fucking hysterical to watch, and the ships and friendships are all so amazing and pure and good and soft and they have their problems and they WORK THEM OUT HEALTHILY AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY OKAY!!!

god, i literally cannot overstate how much i adore these two shows. mike schur, you’re a wonderful, wonderful dude. thank you so much

many musicals (top faves include BOM, hamilton, legally blonde, chicago, matilda, and more!)

i’m putting the musicals together because while i do adore each and every one of them individually, i also just have great big deep-seated love of the art of musical theatre itself in general, ya feel?

like, as someone who’s been both performing and viewing them from a very young age, the sheer sense of utter joy they bring is almost unparalleled

not to be That Bitch who quotes musicals, but “and that hop in our hearts as the overture starts lets us know how lucky we are” might be the closest i’ve ever gotten to finding words to fit the feeling when the lights go down and the show begins. it’s simply phenomenal

the others series by anne bishop

okay, OKAY, if you haven’t read this series (first book called written in red – they have terrible titles but god, they’re worth it), then what are you doing with your life? like, not only is there the perfect logicality au to them (just sayin’), but god, it’s such an incredible series

the worldbbuilding is so cool and the characters are all great and god the ships are the damn hill i die on it’s got literally such a good “sort of enemies mostly just dislike each other to reluctant acquaintances to friends to lovers” ship and it deals with some serious issues rlly well and it’s got baby puppies!!!

like, they’re wolf puppies, but still, they are b a b e y

and finally (for now, at least), the mysterious benedict society, by trenton lee stewart

this book series was my childhood. i mean, there are so many other books i could be talking about right now that i utterly adore (the artemis fowl series springs to mind), but gosh, MBS just brings me such absolute joy to read that i just had to have it on here.

i’m not thinking straight at this point in the evening, but i just wanna say that i will never, not ever forget about reynie. about kate. about sticky. about constance. about rhonda and number two and milligan and miss perumal and my absolute son sq pedalian and, of course, i will never, never forget about mr benedict

it’s bright, and it’s bittersweet, and it’s beautiful.

and it’s good. simply, utterly, wonderfully good.

thank you for the ask, anon.

thank you.

[tommyfrickingshelby]

Snowed In

Ok here we go, the first piece of writing I have posted online in approx. 10 years. SCARED. Criticism, comments and feedback are very welcomed!

Warnings: very slight smut and a lil bit of swearing

Word count: a healthy 2,315

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When you had accepted the secretary job at Shelby Company Ltd, you could not have predicted how entirely life consuming it would become. Four weeks into the job and already you couldn’t remember the last time you had the time or energy to relax at home with a book or leisurely bake and cook like you used to. You rarely left the office before eight o’clock in the evening, your shoulders heavy, thoughts a mess and your tousled hair hanging loosely around your face having escaped your hair pins in the midst of your paperwork.

Alas, true to your sunny outlook, you tried to always focus on the positives. Working so hard meant you were making a name for yourself, learning new things everyday and your money circumstances had never been so flush. This job was a blessing, regardless of how taxing and laborious it had quickly become.

 There was one slight issue, however. The fact that you were besotted with your boss was less than ideal... The last thing you needed during your demanding and busy working hours was a distraction quite like Thomas Shelby.

Before becoming his employee, you’d never really given him a second thought. You’d heard his name mentioned often in Small Heath and beyond, usually protruding between words or warning and tales of trouble and violence, along with his brothers. You lived a menial life and never imagined you’d ever come into close contact with the man; you never assumed your social circles would ever collide. However, the secretary job within the Shelby family betting shop that you’d found advertised in the local paper’s job pages was too perfect to pass up. It was a 30-minute walk from your home, paid well and the work suited you perfectly. You were far too bright to spend your life employed in your family’s bakery business, feeling unstimulated and unfulfilled.

Your increasing infatuation with Thomas Shelby had taken you by surprise, to say the least. He was unlike anyone you had ever met; unorthodox with the kind of mystery and dark brooding you thought only existed in movies. His ice-blue orbs, expressions of complete indifference and life of crime captivated and intrigued you more than you knew possible, whilst also putting you entirely on edge. It was exhilarating, and was beginning to awaken things inside yourself that you never knew existed…

 It was January and Small Heath was battling through the gloomy depths of winter. The snow had started it’s decent at around 4pm, delicately floating down from the heavy sky like millions of powdered diamonds before escalating into an angry swirling snow storm that was determined to bring everyone’s evening to a standstill.

The men had all made their excuses and left the office at the first opportunity, unwilling to risk getting snowed in at work. In all honesty, you had barely even looked up from your ever-growing stack of papers to notice that the weather had gotten so bad. You’d been far too busy furiously typing, filing, adding and cross-checking, completely unaware of the snowfall inching higher and higher outside.

“Y/N?” Tommy’s voice startled you out of your state of concentration, making you jump and drop your pen.

You looked up, met with the vision of your boss leaning against the frame of his office door, his muscled arms crossed, and glasses perched precariously on the edge of his nose. He glanced up at the large clock on the wall and you followed his gaze – half past nine in the evening.

“Oh my gosh,” you sighed, “I had no idea it was so late.” You stood from your chair and began to collect up your belongings. You didn’t have a key to the office and you didn’t want to hold Tommy up. “I’m sorry, I’ll get going.”

Tommy shifted his weight, craning his neck to look out of the window at the snow storm billowing outside before clearing his throat.

“You’re not going anywhere in this weather,” he said. The nature of his comment and the authority in which he delivered it caused you to stop dead in your tracks. “You’ll stay upstairs tonight.” With that, he turned on his heel and marched back into his office.

You began to inwardly panic. What did he mean? Would you be alone or was Tommy staying too? The thought of it sent you into a spin. You followed his tracks and lingered in the doorway of his office.

“Honestly, I’m sure I’ll be fine walking home, Tommy. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Nonsense,” he said, looking up from lighting a cigarette. “It’s not safe. You’ll freeze to death wading through that snow.”

You exhaled. He was right, of course. The snow was the deepest you’d ever seen. You felt like an idiot for not noticing it earlier.

“And you? What are you going to do?”

He took a drag from his cigarette as you watched on, the heat rising to your cheeks as you awaited his answer.

“I’ll never get my car on the road in this,” he said, gesturing a hand at the snow-stained window. “I’m staying.”

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A little later and you were warming yourself by a roaring fire that Tommy had dutifully lit. You’d never set foot into the Shelby home beyond the betting shop and you were surprised by its quaint and ordinary demeanour. Watching Tommy busying himself kitchen felt foreign and strange, like watching a dog walk on its hind legs. He almost looked like your average working man, standing at the counter pouring two glasses of Irish whiskey after a hard day’s work. He had let his braces down and his hair was slightly dishevelled. It was a fascinating insight into Tommy Shelby ‘after hours’ and you felt your heart rate picking up speed as you felt your fascination for him grow and take a new turn as another layer of him fell away for you to see.

“You’re staring at me,” Tommy said matter-of-factly, without even turning to face you.

Shit. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you tore your eyes away and back towards the fire. He picked up the glasses of whisky and walked over to where you were curled on the sofa. You’d never needed a drink more in your life.

“How strange it is to be drinking with my boss,” you said with a light chuckle as you took the whisky from Tommy, welcoming the thick amber liquid.

“The working day is over now Y/N. Relax. I don��t want to be your boss right now.” He slumped on the sofa next to you and closed his eyes, his head lolled back against the back cushion. God, he was beautiful.

You were staring again. You couldn’t stop yourself. Every plane and detail of his face was completely mesmerising; the sharp juts of his cheekbones, the feathered pillows of his lips and his thick dark eyelashes sitting atop of faintly freckled, pale skin.

He opened one eye and looked over at you, a ghost of a smirk tiptoeing gently on his face, barely there but unmistakable all the same. You didn’t bother to look away this time, and instead simply smiled at him from over your whiskey glass, already riding a wave of Dutch courage.

“What’s your story then? Who have you left at home tonight?” he asked, closing his eyes once again, wanting nothing more than to sink a few drinks and for your voice to soothe his chaotic mind. He knew you didn’t have a man. Little did you know, he’d done his research. Still, he wanted to hear it from you.

“Nobody,” you admitted, “I live alone in a tiny flat. My parents live above our family bakery, but I quickly outgrew it. I needed my own space. I only moved in a few weeks ago, after getting this job,” you explained.

“So, you didn’t fancy the life of a baker, eh?” he questioned.

He was eager to find out more about you. He hadn’t hired you on account of your experience. God knows you barely had any. He could tell you were smart and quick, of course and he was confident that you’d be able to do a good job. But it was your undeniable beauty that had pushed him to offer you the job before bothering to see any other candidates. He had quickly come to appreciate your quick wit, musical laugh and the way you lit up the shop with a smile every morning when you arrived, greeting everyone and offering to make the first round of tea. Not only that, but you had a strong mind. One morning, when a mob of men were banging on the betting shop door ten minutes before opening time, you’d marched right over and given them all an earful before slamming the door in their bewildered faces. He knew then and there that he wanted more than an employee-employer relationship. You’d certainly turned more than a few heads since your arrival to the company and Tommy knew he had to act fast before one of the other men beat him to the chase.

The plan could have not gone more perfectly. With the snow billowing down from the sky all afternoon, he should have closed the shop and sent everyone home. However, he knew that for as long as he kept giving you papers, you’d keep working through them, whilst everybody else made their excuses and left for the day to avoid getting snowed in – just what Tommy wanted.

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The hours melted away between the two of you like snowflakes as you sat curled on the sofa beside him. Tommy was a man of few words; however, he’d asked you questions about your childhood and your family and you’d even earnt a handful of smiles and laughs. Before long, the grandfather clock in the corner of the room struck midnight. The bottle of whiskey was empty, and your voice was hoarse from sharing stories about your life.

“It’s late,” you said, reaching forward to set down your empty glass. Your vision was fuzzy around the edges and your eyes heavy. You wanted nothing more than to continue savouring every second of having Tommy all to yourself but after all, you were just his secretary. “Which room should I sleep in?” You went to stand, swaying slightly before a hand took your arm and pulled you back down. It was a gentle pull but with your questionable balance and a fogged whisky mind, you fell forward onto the sofa, steadying yourself as your hands hit the back of the cushions either side of Tommy. Just like that, you were face to face and nose to nose. Tommy’s lips were slightly parted, and his silky eyes hooded with lust and alcohol. He leant forward enough to press his lips to yours.

Your eyes fluttered shut, relishing in the moment you’d been imagining at all hours over the last few weeks. Seconds passed before Tommy pulled away slightly and let out the breath he’d been holding, and you felt it, hot on your cheeks. You couldn’t contain yourself any longer. You reconnected your lips with his, lowering yourself down into his lap. Your heart raced as his body heat met yours. His hands glided down to your waist in response as yours moved to either side of his face and his grip began to tighten as the kiss grew in desperation. You were the first to break away.

“Tommy,” you exhaled, whiskey-tinted breath mingling as he edged forward to rest his forehead against yours. You were lost for words but needed answers. You searched his eyes for regret or guilt but found none. Tommy wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

“Mhm?” was all Tommy could muster, picking you up and lifting you into his arms as if you were light as a feather and heading towards the stairs to the nearest bedroom.

As the snow fell silently outside, you gave all of yourself to Tommy.

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You floated into consciousness the next morning, the sunlight hitting your eyes before the mild hangover nagged at your temples. You were nestled within a pair of strong arms, legs entwined beneath the covers and it took a moment or two for the events of the previous evening to flood back to your memory. You felt a rush of panic as you recounted them. What if this was all a mistake? What if Tommy just needed female company and you were the easiest feat? Last night had been amazing. He was amazing. You’d never be able to come back from these feelings. How would you go on working at Shelby Company Ltd, face to face with the man you’d given yourself over to?

Tommy began to stir, joining you in consciousness as he opened his eyes and took in the sight of you – naked skin on skin, your hair strewn across the pillow in sun-streaked feathers. You were a sight to behold; all he could do was stare for a moment.

“Hi,” you whispered. You felt frozen as his eyes roamed your body for a moment before he stretched.

“Hi,” he croaked. Silence lay between you for a moment as you tried to work out the situation.

“I, um, I can leave if you need me to,” you mumbled, looking down at your hands clutching the bedsheets, hyper aware of your nakedness.

“I don’t want you to,” Tommy said. How was he always so confident? His words, nor his piercing gaze, ever faltered. “Do you want to?”

“No,” you said, almost too quickly.

“Then that’s settled,” Tommy said, rolling over so he was on top of you, pinning your arms above your head. “No one is leaving.” He leant down to kiss you, one hand moving down under the covers slowly, past your hips, waist and settling between your legs. “And you’re definitely not going to work today.”

You gasped as his hand met exactly where you needed him.

“Yes, boss,” you smirked before letting go of reality for another taste of paradise.

[okbutramsaybolton]

Do You Need Me? Part 3 - Kai Anderson Smut

Pairing - (OC-ish) Kai Anderson/Reader

Warnings - Smut!

Word Count - 2370 

Summary - Kai decides it’s time to tell you why he needs you

A/N – Ok, this is kinda corny and I’m not all that happy with it as this kinda follows the actual show in the ritual type thing, but I felt like that didn’t really fit that well so I changed it up a little (obviously), but now I’m kinda wishing I did it differently, and I’m sorry it’s suuuper late! Ah well, let me know what yous think and I hope you guys enjoy! Also, remember to request stuff! I know I’m a lil behind on my requests atm, but I’m tryna get through them as quickly as I can, so leave me requests (any character/person – I’ll tell you if I don’t write for that/them) for when I finish my current ones😊

Kai kept you glued to his side since the last time you guys hooked up. He made sure you basically ever left his side. He had moved you in to his home and where ever you went, he went. It was cute at first, you thought. But then it started to seriously get on your nerves. You couldn’t go anywhere or speak to anyone without him interrogating you about it later. It was driving you insane. You just needed one night to yourself. So one night (after meticulous planning), you decided to leave, by yourself. For just one night.

You excused yourself from the dinner table and Kai and Winter ad went up to your room, saying you were tired and needed some rest. Both Kai and Winter nodded at you in understanding and said goodnight. You locked your bedroom door and waited until you heard Kai go down into the basement and opened the window as quietly as you could. You swung out of the window and scaled to the edge of the roofing above the porch until you reached the gutting at the edge. You had had a lot of practise at this from when you were a teenager and used to sneak out of your parent’s house in the middle of the night – you knew how to do this quickly and quietly. You climbed down the beam at the edge of the roof silently hopped onto the ground. You were proud of this. You were just a child the last time you had to do something like that. You made your way across the front yard and onto the sidewalk and began to walk into the town in the dead of night.

You were only wearing a short dress with a sweatshirt over the top of it, so you were pretty cold in the chilly night air. You quickly found yourself hugging yourself for warmth. You didn’t really know where you were wondering to, but you knew you only had 2 hours max, as Kai always came to check on you at 10pm to see if you were asleep or not. You were having fun, almost skipping down the street, just you, by yourself. You almost wished Kai could see you know. He didn’t really trust you to do anything by yourself, and you wanted to prove him wrong. But you knew if he could see you now, he would be so angry at you for leaving without you. ‘You could’ve got hurt!’ he would scream at you. ‘What if you got hit by a car? What if somebody took you?’ You rolled your eyes to yourself as you imagined what he would say. He treated you like a child. You knew how to look after yourself!

You made it to the park in the middle of town, but the gate was locked. You climbed over it and began walking down the path in between the towering trees. ‘An hour and 20 minutes left’ you thought to yourself. You wanted to get back there in plenty of time, not wanting to risk getting caught. You found a bench by a fountain and pulled out a cigarette from the box in your sweatshirt pocket, letting the cool breeze blow through your hair as you lit it. You sat there, on that bench for a good 40 minutes, just you and your thoughts, before you glanced up at your watch and realized you had only 40 minutes to get back. ‘Shit’ you thought. It took about 30 minutes to get back to the house and you had to get back in without getting caught yet. You bounded over the fence and out of the park and back out of town, not looking where you were going, just focusing on running. Suddenly, you felt yourself run into a figure. Looking up, you realised you had run into a man.

“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was g-” You cut yourself off when you realised who it was you had run into.

“Yes. You better had be sorry, Y/N.” Kai said. ‘Fuck’ was the only thing running around in your head now. He grabbed you by your shoulder and bundled you into the back of one of his henchmen’s car. The journey home was silent, but you knew you would be in some deep shit when you got back.

You were right. As soon as you got back, Kai dragged you up the stairs and into your room. He pushed you down onto your bed and you looked up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You could practically see the anger radiating off him as he frowned down at you. “Kai, I’m…” you began, before you cut yourself off from surprise by kneeling down in front of you. “Little lamb…” Kai began, looking up into your tear-filled eyes. “Why did you try and run away? I was worried sick about you.” He said softly, taking your hands in his. You frowned slightly. Why was he being so nice to you? You expected him to be fuming, to be screaming at you. “I… I wasn’t running away. I was going to come back…I just wanted a little space for a while, that’s all.” You said quietly. “Why do you need space Y/N? Have I done something wrong?” “No, no, no! Of course you haven’t! I just…wanted to be by myself for a bit.” You said, smiling down at him. He sighed, looking down at the ground. “You know I don’t like you going off by yourself Y/N…” You frowned. He sounded just like you dad…when you were 7 years old. “I am an adult, Kai. I can do things by myself. You don’t need to be with me 24/7.” You muttered, just loudly enough for him to hear. “I know, little lamb. I just don’t want my child or his mother getting hurt.” He said, looking up at you. You frowned deeply. “What?” You blurted out. “I’m not pregnant – I can’t be! I’ve been on the pill since before we first-” “No, no, no. You’re not pregnant yet, my sweet Y/N. But you will be, after tonight. I’ve swapped your pill packet with placebo pills after the last time we had sex! You’re the one I’ve chosen to carry my – our child, my heir, my legacy. You’re special Y/N, I knew it the moment I met you, I knew you’d be the one!” He said, a manic grin spread across his face. “No, b-but Kai, I’m only 19, I-I’m not ready to have a baby!” You said, panicked, tears rolling down your cheeks. “Sweet, sweet Y/N. Don’t be scared! Our genes together will create the most perfect child the world has ever seen! Our child will lead us all to glory!” He tried to reason. He was getting really turned on. Seeing you cry like this, your full lips pouting, eyebrows furrowed together lightly, tears trickling down your face – he hated to admit how much this all turned him on. “But Kai, I-I…I can’t do it! I can’t have a baby!” You said sobbed. Kai quickly got up and sat beside you on the bed and pulled you into his side, while you curled into his chest, weeping, no doubt leaving damp patches where your eyes had been. “You said you’d trust me, Y/N. I need you to trust me now, more than ever, okay?” He softly whispered into your ear, stroking your back gently. You paused for a while before pulling away from his chest and looking up into his eyes. “Okay, Kai.” You say, with a weak smile.

The next thing you knew you were wearing this long, old-fashioned looking dress in the basement, sat on the sofa and waiting for Kai. This all felt so weird, so unnatural. But Kai said it was important, so you went along with it. Suddenly, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs and saw Kai, wearing a long white robe thing. ‘What the fuck is going on’ you thought to yourself. You’d never been this nervous to have sex with anyone in your life before. “My child,” He said as he walked past you, so you had your back towards him. “The time of anointing is at hand.” This was the que for you to get up and walk towards the makeshift bed behind the sofa you were sat on. You stood at the foot of it, facing away from Kai and towards the stairs. Suddenly you heard music coming from behind you. I Swear by All-4-One came on, making you frown in confusion then burst out laughing. “What the fuck is this, Kai?” You said between fits of giggles. “This, Y/N, is a holy song now,” he said, smiling at you and taking your hands in his, looking down at you. He had his blue locks tied up in a bun, and God, when he wore his hair like that it turned you on. Just looking at him turned you on. You squeezed your thighs together in anticipation. “From this day forward,” he continued, looking into your eyes, “it shall be played whenever a messiah is conceived.” You smiled at this. You were terrified about having a child, but right now, you could barely contain your excitement of being Kai’s ‘chosen one’, of being the one Kai wants to fuck and carry his child. “Now,” he said. “Let us remove our garments. They will be burned once the sacred copulation is complete.” This made you giggle slightly. Kai was being so funny, so formal, so much more gentle than he normally is. He tore off his rope and you looked down and saw he was already hard. You licked your lips in anticipation, as you slowly slipped out of your dress and stood before Kai as his eyes raked up and down your body. He turned around to grab something from the table just behind him and returned with some oil, with which he drew an ‘X’ on your forehead with. You smiled up at him, biting your lip, trying not to burst out laughing. “You may lay down on the bed now, Y/N.” he said, placing the oil back on the table.

You lay down on the bed, just as he told you to do. You had to admit, as weird as this ritual type thing was, it was kind of turning you on. It was so intimate, so different to how Kai usually fucked you. You slowly spread your legs for him as he groaned and dragged his eyes up and down your body, trying to decide where to focus. He stood above you at the foot of the bed and began to stroke his already hard cock. “You’re so beautiful Y/N. This is why I needed you. This is your ultimate purpose. Do you see how important you are now?” Seeing Kai jerk himself off in front of you like that was turning you on immensely. “Mhmm!” You moaned in response. “Use your words, Y/N…” He groaned. Seeing you at his mercy like this was making him hard like never before. “Yes! Yes, Kai – I see now!” You sighed, desperate for his touch. Finally, he lowered himself on top of you, looking deep into your eyes and kissed you deeply, his tongue sliding across your lower lip, begging for entrance, which you swiftly granted. While he was distracted with the kiss, you snaked your hand in between the two of you and lightly grabbed his cock and began sliding your hand up and down his length. This caused Kai to moan loudly into the kiss and you reacted by slipping your other hand down to your clit, rubbing it in light circles. You were both moaning messes already. Suddenly, Kai pulled away from the kiss and grabbed both your wrists and pinned your head. “This is about you, Y/N.” he said softly, cupping your cheek. Without warning, he suddenly ploughed into you, causing you to bite your lip as to not scream with pleasure. “No, don’t hold it in, baby. Let the whole world know we’re creating the messiah” he said with a raspy voice and closed eyes. He let go off your wrists to move one hand to your clit, and he began rubbing vigorously, making you moan loudly. “Kai! Fuck!” you moaned. “That’s it, Y/N. Let me know how good it feels to be making that baby inside you.” He grunted. His dick slid in and out of you, while one of his hands held both your wrists together above your head, and the other was rubbing your clit like nothing you’d ever felt before. Kai couldn’t believe how sexy you looked like this. Fully exposed to him, each thrust making your tits move up and down. The sight of you made him moan loudly, his dick throbbing inside you. “God, you’re so tight, baby.” He panted above you. “Please, Kai – faster, please!” You cried out, getting closer and closer to your orgasm with each thrust. This sent Kai wild, causing him to relentlessly plough into you, making your pussy contract around him. “Kai, I’m so…close” You panted, about to reach your high. “Just hold one a little longer, Y/N. I want us to…cum…together” He grunted, thrusting into you even harder and faster than before, he fingers still working at your clit. “You let out a loud moan, and this sent Kai over the edge. “Now, Y/N” He said shakily. You felt Kai twitch inside you, as you let go and felt his hot seed shoot inside you while you juices poured over his cock and down your thighs. “Fuck!” He groaned as you screamed, your high hitting you like never before.

“Well done, little lamb” Kai said, collapsing beside you, as you curled into his chest. “Thank you, Kai” You said, looking up at him with tired smile and big, tired eyes. He looked down at you and smiled at you, genuinely happy. You would soon be one little family. “So, this is why you needed me all along?” You wondered out loud, snuggling into Kai. “Yes, Y/N. I told you all along you were the one I needed the most.”

[childofthenight2035]

Photoaesthetics

A/N: i found this random prompt and i loved it so here

Pairing: Min Yoongi x gn!Reader

Summary/Prompt: “I found your usb stuck in the computer and I saw your files by accident so I’m really sorry.”

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: None

-

“DNA isolation is, therefore, a process that seeks to separate genomic DNA found in the nucleus of a cell from the other parts of the cell. It is an extraction process…blah blah blah…These methods are thus adapted so as to efficiently purify DNA from any source. Oh, gosh. Am I finished? Is this finished?” I rubbed my eyes thoroughly and scanned the document again. “FINALLY!” I yelled so loud that my roommate stirred from her slumber and cursed. I transferred the essay I’d typed to my pen drive. I closed my books and tabs on the laptop. “Say what you want, old girl, but I am done with college, I tell you!”

“How are you not tired?” she grumbled.

“Don’t look at the time and you won’t feel the exhaustion,” I replied.

I nearly sprinted out of my room and had left the dorm building when I realized I was still wearing my Bugs Bunny pajamas and was barefoot. I hesitated for a second, but then thought, Why bother? No one will be there anyway.

My last semester of college was coming to a close with the final exams going on and reports due. My Chemistry theoretical report was supposed to be handed in today…in a few hours, actually. I needed to print it out before the sun rose, and possibly get a few hours of sleep in. I walked swiftly to study hall, where the printer was permanently installed.

As I neared the room, I almost crashed into a boy in my year, whose face I was very familiar with, but whose name escaped my midnight-mode brain.

He was that guy, you know? That guy who I sometimes saw roaming around on campus with a DSLR around his neck and his finger constantly on the shutter button. The guy who was pretty well known as a photography major and I’ve definitely seen his pictures…have I? I couldn’t remember a thing. He looked so soft but…yeah, that was why I wasn’t familiar with his name! He wasn’t very social. Exactly. But he was so beautiful, though. Why am I thinking all this right now? I could see the two of us being friends. Wouldn’t we have good chemistry? Chemistry? Chemistry! My report. Dude, focus.

He was in the same disheveled state as I was in, his eyes full of sleep, but he nodded at me as I passed him. He was clearly coming from the study hall, and judging from the papers in his hands, I figured he must have a report due today as well. I felt his eyes run briefly over my pajamas and a my face heated up a bit. He didn’t comment, though. I turned to look at his retreating form, viewing his clothes. He was just wearing a t shirt and sweats, but damn, he looked good. No. Chemistry. Report.

I entered the study hall, switched on the lights and found the computer only on sleep mode. I jiggled the mouse and the screen lit up. A folder was already open when I sat down. I squinted. It seemed to hold a couple of Word documents. I closed the folder, but it took me back to a list of several folders on a USB named “Yoongi”.

“Ah, that’s what his name is,” I said aloud. I was about to close it when a folder titled ‘Photos’ caught my attention. I cursed mentally. I was such a sucker for good photographs. There was just something so fascinating about them, something so endearing about a person who could capture the beauty of the tiniest thing he saw. I couldn’t help it. I clicked on the folder.

“Holy…” I was mesmerized into silence as I viewed photo after photo, each expressing itself perfectly. There were many pictures of flowers- bright daffodils in morning light, white lilies and red roses contrasting sharply against the green of the campus lawns; there were pictures of the scenery in and around college- I recognized one particular sunset as the one a person could see only if he stood at the moor about a mile off campus, only visible a few days between winter and spring. That meant dedication, wow.

A lot of the pictures were clearly taken indoors, probably in his own dorm, arranging his belongings in an aesthetically appealing way, and they definitely were appealing. Yoongi- I remembered his full name now, Min Yoongi- certainly had a knack for identifying what looked good. Much to my amusement, I noticed that some of the pictures were of people, too. Some were posed, with the photographer bringing out their best angles, but some were pictures of moments, unexpected and hilarious. Yoongi was a genius for being able to capture the full emotion of the situation. After giggling at a picture of two boys trying to pull the shirt off a third, I clicked the next picture and my heart nearly stopped.

It was a picture of me. Me? Of all the students on campus, he took a picture of me? I knew the place, I was studying with my friend under the oak tree that was near my department building. We liked sitting there, examining the shape of leaves and chucking acorns at one another. I clicked the mouse again, and again. The pictures were still of me. I exited the full screen mode and scrolled through the smaller icons in the folder. Five, ten, fifteen! All pictures of me! And none of my friend, either. He hadn’t taken so many pictures of anyone else. What on earth?

My eyes fell in the last picture in the folder and I brought it to full size. It was a picture of Yoongi himself, his beanie lopsided on his head and an exasperated look on his face. He was holding up a piece of paper that read ‘SUGA’ in capital letters.

“Suga?” I read aloud.

“Yes?” A voice behind me spoke. I jumped and wheeled around in the chair.

The photographer himself stood behind me, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. I swallowed nervously and stood up as he came towards me. I moved aside as he bent, closed the folders and yanked his pen drive out.

“Can’t a guy forget his USB in peace?” he asked, his voice thick with uncertainty and annoyance. I avoided his eye.

“I’m really sorry,” I said quietly. “It was open, and I…I couldn’t resist looking at them.” I glanced up. “They’re very good.”

He visibly relaxed. “Thank you.” He turned to leave.

“Wait!” I protested. “Could…could I ask why you’ve taken pictures of me?”

He stopped, head bowed, facing the door. “Well, you…” He sighed, looking around at me again. “You’re very beautiful. I like taking pictures of you.”

“Oh.” I blushed. “Well, thanks. No one’s ever said that to me before.”

“I’m sorry if it looks like I’m stalking you or something, I swear I’m not,” he hastily added.

“No, I didn’t think that,” I reassured him. “I really didn’t. I was just surprised that someone would want to photograph me.”

He nodded, pausing a bit and then scratching the back of his neck nervously. “Um…well, if you, uh, if you want to, there’s this booth that the photography majors are putting up for Closing day, so…you could stop by and um, see the photos we put up.” His face was turning pink and I tried to hold back a smile. “Could, um, I use those photos of you? For the display?”

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Yeah. They’re good, aren’t they?”

“They are. You’re really talented.”

He smiled. “I’m just a guy with a camera. You’re very pretty.” Heat rose into my face again. He looked quickly around. “Well, you know, maybe, like after you come by the booth, we could, like, I don’t know, get some coffee, maybe?” He spoke very rushed and I chuckled. “I mean, only if you want to.”

I reached out and squeezed his shoulder. He tensed at first, but soon relaxed. “I’d love to.”

His face broke out into an impossibly wide grin, showing off his gummy smile that made me smile, too. “Okay. Hey, I’m sorry, again. About taking photos of you without your permission.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay. Really. I’ve never seen such great pictures of me in my life.” My watch beeped three times. “Whoa, it’s really late. You should go and get some sleep. I still have a report to print out.”

“You sure?”

I waved him away. “Go sleep.”

He smiled again and turned to leave. Once he got to the door, he looked back. “Nice pajamas, by the way.”

The last thing I heard as I covered my red face in my hands was the sound of his laugh.

[cockringhoratio]

well gosh golly gee will ya look at that its a tag game! tagged by the blogger of Bad Cosmemes: @sherpawhale​

PRESS J TO SKIP IF YOU AINT WANNA SEE THIS sorry mobile users ur screwed

Rules: answer 11, ask 11

1. What sport are you most excited to watch during the 2018 Winter Olympics? Or sport you’d most like to understand more about?

okay so im ngl i mainly watch the olympics for swimming, diving, volleyball, and gymnastics, and those are all summer sports, but that one when you ski and shoot things at the same time sounds pretty banging. also freestyle skiing and snowboarding are cool too.

2. Would you rather be Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or Snapchat famous?

honestly youtube probably. because i love to talk about stuff when no one can interrupt me and honestly i could probably swing it as a how to channel. and also adsense but the only things i know how to How To are tech theater nonsense or already have like 50 thousand videos on them so meh

3. What are your thoughts/feelings on your most famous “local” (local can be regional) sports team?

so. the thing about va. is that. we dont have SPORTS! we kinda bum off everyone around us, which means for college basketball, we go to duke vs TARHEELS WOOT WOOT (also its hilarious that nc state thinks that theyre somehow in the picture for that rivalry like lmao) and then i think the cavaliers do okay for themselves in football, and i think thats the closest we get to a Known team from va? also we have the tides in norfolk, who feed into the orieles, but like does anyone actually follow the minor leagues??? and because the nationals in dc are closer, everyone follows them instead of the orieles for the majors so its just wah???? and then obvi the redskins (whom i did not realize where in dc for THE LONGEST time) for the nfl and that about it. my fam goes to tides games sometimes, and also penninsula pilots games, which are really fun bc its all homey and old school, and thats about the extent of my sports knowledge. yes technically local for me right now would be la but honestly fuck an la.

4. What is the one book/book series you would read to experience it for the first time again if you could?

So Fucking Many. um. lemme think. i reread thief of time by terry pratchett almost religiously but it still manages to get me just as much as it did the first time, so not that one. (if you asking what book id want buried with me, however, that would 100% be the answer). maybe the belgariad/mallorean by david eddings?? bc the ending of that makes me cry like a fuckin baby holy shit. but i swear theres a better one...... NEVERWHERE. by neil gaiman. yeah. that one. shoutout to allison for first giving me that one lol. (also the wee free men and all the tiffany aching books. those are Good Shit too)

5. What is the one tv show you would watch to experience it for the first time again if you could?

pushing daisies. no question.

6. What is the one song or album you would listen to experience it for the first time again if you could?

transmissions by starset, and also gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight) by abba and the last of the real ones by fob. the reason i listed more than one is bc if i didnt i would immediately star talking abt transmissions and starset and then this post would be 5 miles longer than its already gonna be

7.  What is the one game you would play to experience it for the first time again if you could?

i dont have very expansive gaming experience outside of browser stuff, and i technically havent beat superhot yet so i cant really experience it AGAIN cuz i havent even fully experienced it for the first time. but on the other hand, i do play an obscene number of escape room games and once you beat those is kinda like well... so i guess id go back and and do those again.... OH WAIT lego indiana jones. because im a fucking class act.

8. What is the one movie you would watch to experience it for the first time again if you could?

descendants (2015) bc HOLY SHIT did ben fucking hit me out of left field like that is an emotional experience i definitely want to relive. also power rangers (2017) and the entire oceans trilogy (in reverse order like i watched them the first time lmao its so funny to be introduced to andy garcia as like their grumpy sugar daddy in the last one and then see him in 12 and 11 and hes like.... so not that...)

9. If you drive, do you prefer to drive with your hands at 10 and 2 or 9 and 3 (don’t say other, which of these two)?

ah i see we’re gonna pretend i dont drive with one hand at 6 and/or my knee. and even then, they teach 8&4 now bc of airbag stuff, but uuuuh whenever i sit up really straight and stretch my arms, i put my hands at 10 and 2

10. What’s the best vanity plate you’ve ever seen?

i come from the land of $10 vanity plates so Let Me Tell You i have seen some real gems. my friend has AUDREY 2, saw a truck with TH8R once, also a PIR8 GRL truck, and my best friend has H3CK Y3A bc shes a fucking nerd. thats all i can tell you off the top of my head but there are some great ones. also lots of like ‘luv my kids’ or jackson 5 type plates. and also lots of Well Im Sure You Didnt Mean It As A Sex Thing Because Of The Stick People Family On Your Windshield But I Literally Cant Come Up With Any Other Interpretation

11. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled, or if you’re not a prankster, best prank you’ve witnessed?

god you know that feeling where you know youve pulled some good ones but you cant for the life of you remember them? thats me rn. cuz i Know me and my friends have pulled some real shit on each other. all i can remember is scaring obnoxious freshmen by turning off the lights in the catwalks after telling them about our theater ghost, but like thats boring. there was the 69 shirt a different group of made but like we were pretty obvious about that so it wasnt really a prank. hmmmm. cant think of any ive witnessed either damn. my memories really going to shit isnt it.

My questions:

1. what creature would you ride into battle in your YA adventure film?

2. what would your highly unrealistic virus a la hackers (1995) look like/be themed around?

3. what is your ideal pet? (real or otherwise)

4. what is your opinion on the fact that my roommate has color coordinated every goddamn thing she owns down to the fucking charging cable she uses?

5. what are your favorite kind of shoes?

6. follow any webcomics?

7. whats your treat yourself meal?

8. whats your feel good movie/book/show?

9. whats your favorite ride or type of ride at amusement parks/carnivals/etc?

10. what historical figure would be fight on sight if you could time travel?

11. if a car is going 70+ on a 60 highway are you the one with your foot on the pedal or the one screaming in the passenger seat?

tagging time: i know i normally dont actually tag people but i got to pick the questions this time so imma do it. also dont feel obligated to do it if you dont wanna, and if i didnt tag you but you do wanna, have at it fam. @colordrifter @punkpixieprince @holybikinisbatman @rainelinde @theheartshapedsunglasses​ @hometown-unicorn​

[littleblondesoprano]

Can you tell me stuff that makes you happy? I've had a rough day and am feeling pretty down. -🍒

Oh gosh! I’m so sorry! Of course! 

(I’m not gonna lie, this is gonna be a pretty long list!) 

What makes me Happy: 

Fluffy

Tom Hiddleston (and ANY of the characters he acts as–especially Loki)

Loki

Writing and singing!

Writing a paper for class and completely demolishing it!

Singing for people who have never heard me sing before and making them cry/feel something. 

Mythology (namely Greek and Norse) 

Getting new books!

My friends! 

Disney!

Going to the airport, that rush of adrenaline that you get knowing you’re travelling and you’re gonna have an awesome time and gain new experiences! 

Autumn and Spring!

Flowers! (Namely roses, baby’s breath, and white daises) 

History in general! But what I love is the time of the Vikings (so like…8th-9th century beginning) and the Victorian-Edwardian era of Europe!  

Crystals! (Citrine, Silver and Rainbow Moonstone, Emeralds, Rose Quartz, Clear Quartz, and there’s one that I absolutely love, but I don’t know the name of! It’s a black stone, but in it, it looks like captured stars!)

Shiny rings and necklaces! I like shiny stuff.

Really, really old books–like, the kind where the pages are turning orange and the cover is worn out and cracking; it shows that someone really loved that book enough to hold onto it and read it again and again! 

Peppermint vanilla mocha!

Milk chocolate ANYTHING

Macaroons and brownies and cheesecake, oh my! 

Marble–usually white marble with grey veins–but I absolutely adore it and I want it everywhere in my future home!

Big windows letting in bunches of natural light!

Hot showers after a really long day, getting out and feeling clean and ready for bed!

Alternatively, cold showers after working out, getting out and feeling refreshed!

The beach!! Laying out on the beach!! Sharks teeth on the beach!! The little shops at the beach!! 

Crystal shops! (Good ones) 

Organizing my little areas and checking off all of my responsibilities for the day. 

Swimming to the bottom of my pool and those few moments when I’m just suspended in water, completely engulfed, and I see little bubbles involuntarily escape my lips or my nose!

Swimming in the later afternoons, when the sun is low through the trees and creates little broken waves in the water and I come up for air in a little pool of light! It’s almost like the sun is winking! 

Looking through old pictures in giant bins we have (we’ve got like, four or five–plus or minus a few books–and they’re huge) because mom loved buying the disposable cameras when I was little! Going through them and remembering those moments–or being told stories of those moments. 

Decorating for Halloween!! I would literally beg mom and dad in September to put up the Halloween decorations, and like, second week in they would always agree! I love setting it all up and then sitting down that night and watching the entire living room glow orange from the tree and the big, glowing pumpkins we have up! 

Going for walks when it’s chilly outside and bundling up!

Blanket scarves! 

Cinnamon-Sugar baked Pumpkin seeds! 

Picking out the pumpkins after going on a hayride and trying to find the biggest one! (Or the biggest one that I can carry)

Learning about the Baroque composers and listening to their music ( J.S. Bach, Vivaldi, Handel, Telemann, Monteverdi, Albinoni, etc.) 

 Ivy climbing over older Victorian houses! 

Chicken Salad! (Not with grapes in it–that yucky.)

Crab, Lobster, shrimp, salmon, flounder–and I feel guilty about this, but I’ve eaten mako shark before and it was good. 

I love seeing squirrels, cats, hawks, deer, foxes out in nature! 

People being nice to other people

Reading back over my own writing and rediscovering how good I was/am at it–not to be vain–but just like: “I wrote that?! What?! That’s too good!”

Harry Potter before everyone died. 

Game of Thrones! (In this house, we are TARGARYENS. And, well, we also root for the Starks, buT THE TARGARYENS.)

Little day trips with my friends to the mall or out to eat somewhere!

Similarly, sleepovers with my friends where we stay up late and do fun stuff! 

NEW YORRRRKK! And definitely Broadway and Times Square! Those bulbs and the buzz of activity and huge cool stores and new experiences always jazz me up! 

Sherlock Holmes! And classic literature like Wuthering Heights, The Scarlet Letter, Emma, Candide, literally all of Shakespeare’s stuff (especially Antony and Cleopatra!) Frankenstein, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, The Journals of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Literally everything except for Mr. Dickens–he’s too sad for moi. 

When it starts to snow and we go for a walk while the little flurries flutter down from the clouds! 

Sitting down at night in the living room (and Fluffy sitting in my recliner with me–mostly because I steal her favorite blanket and put it on the end of the ledge…thingie…and she sits on it!) at night and watching our favorite shows–be that Forged in Fire, Last Chance U, The Defiant Ones, Game of Thrones, Alone, Broadchurch, or any other silly show we find ourselves watching! We have the warm glow light bulbs and we strung some Christmas lights over our ‘logs’ in the fireplace and turn that on too, so the whole room is just washed in this beautiful, warm, golden bath and it’s so, so cozy. 

Going to little antique stores and finding something you’d never thought you would find–or never expected to find. 

Really, really cold Diet Pepsi Cherry.

The fountain drinks from Sheetz that you can add Cherry and Vanilla to! I usually add a lot of both to it–usually to Diet coke–and get the bigger drinks!

Tater tots in a bucket from Sheetz! 

Brewing spiced tea in a teapot

Bottling and organizing spices in the kitchen!

My William Shakespeare bust at my desk (he yells at me when I don’t write enough)

Finally laying down at night and daydreaming to fall asleep!

Eating little snacks–like some hoop cheese and an apple–for snack! 

Going to my Grandma Bonnie’s house and then going out to lunch with her at the Graham Soda Shoppe and getting two hot dogs all the way and splitting a basket of onion rings with her! Then, hitting Tasty Bakery right next door and getting some yummy treats! 

The hot chocolate at this one specific bakery on I-70; it’s the greatest I’ve ever had, I swear it! Nothing can top it! 

During winter break last year, I was performing with a group of other girls and I got that hot chocolate before rehearsal, and then we sat and watched the few acts before us perform–the house was beautifully lit golden and it just made me feel at home. 

France and England! 

Taking bunches of pictures during the day, on outings, and then at night looking over them and laughing!

Hotels that serve warm cookies at night! 

Peppermint sticks! 

Dipping slices of warm hoop cheese in ranch–I always did it at my Pawpaw’s house when we’d have these big lunches, and then we’d all go swimming in his pool or lay around the living room–that always reminds me of those times. 

Pineapple pizza! (No ham tho)

Going to the movies late at night and seeing an awesome one, then going to McDonalds and getting a M&M McFlurry! 

Getting my nails done!! 

Always having something yummy to eat at home

Mattress foam flip flops and my awesome swimsuit! (Er–it flatters my figure) 

Shark Week!!! 

Getting my makeup On Point. 

Nerding out with other theatre/musical nerds in person and singing duets with them (because none of my other friends will sing with me). There was this one guy in my chorus I sang “All I Ask of You” with and it was SO GOOD; we loved it! Every time we saw each other I would be like: “Saaaay yoouu love me every waaaakeeeinngg mommennntt–” we were awesome and I really miss that.

Going to the theatre and seeing musicals with my mom–that’s always fun! Last time, we got these huge cupcakes since my blood sugar was low–I think we saw Matilda (it was okay).

Ironing my dad’s shirts for my mom so she doesn’t have to after she gets home from work. 

The smell of sage burning

The smell of coffee being made–like, Tim Hortons and Harry & David’s coffee! 

Doughnuts with chocolate icing on top and vanilla icing inside! (We call that the manager’s special) 

Chick-fil-a sandwiches and fries! 

Vanilla cupcake cookie goldfish! 

Trying on an outfit for the first time (that you planned in your head the night before) and it looking even better than what you imagined it to be!

Lavender! 

Those purple vines/flowers that bloom in the Spring and hang from trees!

Golden sunsets! 

Cats doing funny stuff–or cute stuff–or just being cats in general!

Mother of Pearl inlays, pearls, and white fire opals! 

People getting me flowers! (It’s only happened once, and they were given to all the Seniors, so I don’t know if it counts, but…I really loved it!) 

Burgundy/wine red shirts!

Yellow/mustard shirts and dresses! 

Velvet! 

Red and gold stage curtains on a dark stage with remnants of ten different types of colored duck tape. 

Crisp sheet music–clean lined and dark inked! 

Alternatively, used sheet music–faded out a little, written on with pencil and once accidentally with pen, crinkled pages dog earred and maybe a staple or two barely hanging on. 

The absolute applause after you know you just kicked ass on that song! 

The confidence and the way my voice swells so powerfully when I perform! 

Gold plated–or gold–anything. 

Rocco/Baroque style decorating, clothing, anything! 

Watching the clouds drift by when floating on the surface of the pool. 

The trees finally turning color in the fall! 

Riding around in the Impala (just make sure to put on some sunscreen!) 

Downloading new songs to my phone and then really listening to them that night when I’m laying in bed daydreaming. 

Ghost tours in old towns! (We’ve done Charleston, South Carolina; Wilmington, North Carolina; Savannah, Georgia; Charlotte, North Carolina; St. Augustine, Florida!) 

Taking showers while the sun is still out and it’s kinda daytime! 

Staying out all day with my friends and coming home when it’s kinda dark outside/driving home with my friends when it’s sunset. 

Visiting/going to old castles and mansions! (Biltmore has been the best thus far!) 

Curling up in bed on a really cold day outside, and feeling warm on the inside! 

Making cookies/baking pastries in the oven and them turning out wonderfully! 

That’s all I can think of right now–and my gosh–I know there’s more! I’m just so tired from all that travelling! I hope you feel better after this, my friend!! I wish you all happiness!! 

Oh!! I forgot one!! My car, Pumpkin, and all other little minis make me happy!!